FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

371 - 380 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Omg yep that annoys me too @CheerBear good on you for chucking that bucket aside 🤗🤗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear seriously the apparently trained mental health professional said "don't worry about that"? Gee, I'm just a little mixed up sea turtle but I think I'd be going more with "it's totally understandable that you are anxious about that." And yeah, the "trust me" line would definitely super bug me too. Where the hell do these people get their qualifications from? A corn flakes box?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Lol @Phoenix_Rising 😂😂 i think that half the time or a frootloop box as they are that

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Just swinging by the nest to say goodnight. I think I might snuggle in your pocket tonight @CheerBear. I am feeling alone and scared. I figure you probably know what that feels like. Thanks for being my not-friend.

Night all nest dwellers.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I was just writing a big long post because I was feeling very sad and alone which was making me feel scared @Phoenix_Rising. So thank you for snuggling in my pocket tonight. We can be alone together. It's warm and cosy here tonight with the fluffy pink blanket. Hope you sleep well not-friend.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm getting another bucket because sitting here with all of this on my own is not helping me tonight.

I'm all for trying to address unhelpful 'shoulds'. I genuinely believe that many shoulds, like 'I should be feeling...' , or 'I should be better at...' can become toxic. But there are some shoulds and should nots that I think should definitely stand. These are the shoulds that are hurting me and what are behind my sadness and don't want this anymoreness tonight.

Right now I should be holding the degree I had worked for years at. I should not be someone who nearly made it. I should be celebrating years of dedication and hard work with my friends. I should be excitedly waiting to hear the outcome of an application for a masters program I would have been almost guaranteed a place at. I should be living in the house I'd made into a home, where I'd been doing a great job raising little people for years. I should be able to see my friends and my neighbours. I should have friends. I should be living close to my family. I should be free to go wherever I want and not be afraid. I should be living the life I had worked so hard to build. I should not be wondering how I am going to come back from something like this. I should not be living life as a series of moments to overcome. This should not have happened at all.

I don't want to feel so sad anymore. It's not ok. It's not ok that it's happened and that the impact has been so huge and so destructive. It's not ok that it all changed a quickly and that I know that forever there will always be a chance that it can be taken away again, if by some amazing chance I can even get any of it back again.

I'm tired and sad and so over it and over myself feeling like this.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Being alone together with a not-friend definitely works for me tonight @CheerBear. Night.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear you should have all that you desire and worked so hard for. The bad stuff should not have happened. I hear you. I am typing on my phone now while snuggled inside your pocket and almost asleep. I just wanted you to know I hear you.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Here with you @CheerBear 💟💕
Wish I could take all the hurt and disappointments etc away.
I hope you're sleeping ok.
Nighty night 😴

Night night @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member 😴💟

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Goodmorning @CheerBear how are you today
I had a look at those sites and they arr really cool hey

Goodmorning @Former-Member again 🤗 @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member ❤❤
371 - 380 of 5,090