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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member I am super pleased to hear that NikNik emailed you today. I find NikNik to be a superly duperly safe person.

This was me just now when I read that you are going to try not to run/hide/disappear.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You make me smile, @Phoenix_Rising. 😁

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm kind of big happy dancing right now too @Former-Member and @Phoenix_Rising ☺

I am so sooooooo glad you were offered some reassurance and that you're going to see how you go. I have so much enjoyed getting to know you and am really looking forward to getting to know you more. I like you for being you bookish. Trying when things feel scary is brave ☺

Thank you for your heart feel good words 😊

Gotta run again (with a yaaaaaay as I go)!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You make me smile too, @CheerBear. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Okay ...... only one each people ...... just take one each please ...... if there are some left, a second round can be offered ......


@Former-Member ..... you can take two ..... or more if you need them .....

Okay ..... well ...... there are lots more here today, so take how many you want people ..... changed instruction ..... take as many smiles as you need .....

❣️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Former-Member, I'm on a mission to collect Mouse and Noodle. It's a somewhat epic mission but these two furry fish mean that much that it is a no doubt about it has to happen. I was thinking of you and your furry fish while working it out and wanted to say hi to you both.

It's a pretty lovely day here. After this mission I'm planning on braving the supermarket for the last time for a few days and then getting my bake on. Hope there's good for anyone calling past ☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oh @CheerBear, you just gave me happy tears and giant (furry) heart feels. 💚💚 That sounds like a definitely no doubt about it absolutely essential epic mission and I super love that Mouse and Noodle make five. 💚 I also love that your mission made you think of me and an Edie-fish. 😊 You're more than awesome, @CheerBear. 🦄💚🌷

Your day sounds super massive. I hope you have a suitable soundtrack. 😊🎶 Supermarketing today sounds like a very brave (albeit necessary) move. Good luck. I hope you get to the baking bit sooner rather than later. 😊🌷

Hello nest. I hope today is super kind to all. 🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear,

I am just zooming in and out of the nest to say hello. Not long now until we get to have our first Christmas together but not, CheerBear. I can't wait to watch the carols with you and your LF tomorrow night and to wait up for Santa to take off from the North Pole.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest ☺

Up early this morning, as always, and enjoying the quiet and still of the morning. It's so peaceful here right now and I have an inside feeling that matches it (I know, it shocked me too 😉). I spent a lot of yesterday with last minute organising stuff which has been heaps of effort to do with a brain that has struggled through the December rollercoaster. As soon as it was finished, it was like a huge weight was lifted and it felt so good. The December stress heads (me included) seemed to instantly chill, and music and cooking and movies happened before an early-ish bed time. It's a relatively low key one here this year in terms of people and we've gone right back to the most close, which I am loving.

I'm not sure if it was in the nest or somewhere else that I wrote this one (banana head) but there's something that one of mine kicked off that has been so inside feel goods. They asked if this year we could add a make-something little Secret Santa to the mix and then the two biggest of mine organised it. It was a bit of play along thing to start with but it has turned into something really special as more thought has gone into this little make something special than into most other things and it's given lots of laughs and together time even before anything is opened.

I'm a bit sentimental right now, and while all is quiet in this house I am thinking of about a bazillion people here. If I was to tag everyone it would make my long post even longer, so I won't (plus I get that it is a tricky time for many so this feeling feeling I have many not be helpful for all) but the short version is that this morning I am full of appreciation and gratitude for those who have been on my phone in my pocket throughout this year, whether that be in deep and meaningful conversations, passing hellos, fun adventures, laugh-cries, helpful tips, tea and coffee catch ups, quiet "you're not alone in this" messages, and story sharing of all kinds. It's meant the world. Big huge warm fuzzies 😊

@Former-Member I got that connection feeling hearing you mention the suitable soundtrack 😊. I borrowed a someone's car for the epic mission. It's a very fancy for me car so there are lots of buttons. It's safer for me to be driving this one (for a couple of reasons) but initially I said no as I didn't think I could connect my phone with it's music to it, which shows how valuable I think both suitable soundtracks and furry fish are. I got it going and had the awesomest music playing. I didn't know how to use the A/C and had a seat warmer cooking me for a bit of the trip, but it sounded great and that was what mattered 😆.

@Phoenix_Rising I'm not sure if you could hear me from Sydney (you almost could have) but I am sure you heard me from my handbag when I woke up this morning and yelled "Merry Christmas Eve Phoenix_Rising" 😁 Do you like pavlova? Big and I are making a Malteser pav with chocolate sauce. We did the meringue bit yesterday which was messy and fun (and it worked which considering my baking skills was a high five!). We're making a chocolate filling bit that's soooo bad-but-good and I was wondering if you'd like to lick the bowl or the spoon? Big is an amazing sharer and I'm sure they won't mind working out who gets what if you do ☺ Only hours now until Santa leaves the North Pole. Better get some carrots into the reindeer food! So much looking forward to carols and Norad with you plus three 😊

Hope there's good somewhere in today for all!

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear I hope I am not too late to lick the bowl!
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