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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I hope today has been kind to you, @CheerBear. 💚🦄

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear It might be long and slow, but my word, how incredibly beautiful it is. I'm reading but have little to offer other than...feeling with you.💛💛💜💜💕💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi in the nest ☺ It's been a running around day today which was fun, though I am tired now. The LF are all very tired, excited about the time of year, busy at school etc. They're in need of holidays now and still have a week of school which is a bit ugh to think of. It's too close to Christmas for the school term to end but it is what it is.

Thanks @outlander ❤ I think they're snapdragons from what I can see on my phone - so beautiful. Hope you're ok.

@Maggie - thank you so much. It's so so nice to see you. I've been thinking of you 💕

@Former-Member I love that picture thank you 😊 Today has been busy but good thanks. I was at a celebration event thingy tonight. It took lots but it was worth it. I have been thinking of you heaps. I don't want to push and I respect that you may not want to/can't share but I am wondering how your house bus and post house bus has gone? I hope you're ok/safe/getting there 💚

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

yes they sure are snapdragons i remember you sayong you liked them @CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

So lovely of you to remember and to bring them over here @outlander thank you 😗 They're pretty awesome flowers!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

they are pretty @CheerBear i didnt realise they come in many colours until i looked them up

how are your flowers growing? i was thinking of making a garden, well a few pot plants just not sure which flowers yet

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Not so many flowers around after a recent heat wave really hurt them @outlander 😞 But lots of fruit on the fruit trees and different things in the veggie garden which is good 🙂

Good to hear you're thinking of getting some plants. My potted plants make me feel really happy. I have a couple but they're tricky sometimes with our hot summer days, freezing winter ones and everything in between often.

Snapdragons are one that reminds me of being little and same with cosmos 🙂

I'm tired and have an early-ish start and big day tomorrow so I'm going to head off.

Hope the rest of your night goes ok 💗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

good night @CheerBear sleep well

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest ☺

It's been pretty go here for the last few days and it seems each day gets a little more like it. The LF have heaps on and they're all tired and excited, which can be a tricky combination. I've chatted to a couple of random parents while I've been out and about (all who look probably the way I do - frazzled) and it seems most of us are feeling it. Even though I have tried not get myself too caught up in the busy and stress, it's happened anyway. Sharing a quiet moment laughing in solidarity at "why do we do this to ourselves?", brings me a smile at least.

I was reading something about how to better cope with the season when things get like this and the person mentioned reconnecting with the real reason for doing it all, which I am trying to do. Warm fuzzies and magic 😉

Underneath all of it is a lingering fear of what this time of the year can bring in terms of safety. It turns normal stress into big worry as it's one of those times when being extra careful is needed. It's still so hard to work out how much we can stretch the bubble we live in without it going pop. We have a things on coming up that are a great examples of it. Our choice is to miss out (which would hurt them too much) or to do as much as we can to stay inside it and then cross everything, which is what we will do.

Back to searching for warm fuzzies and magic. Hope there's good in today for anyone visiting the nest at the moment ☺

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning @CheerBear sounds like you've been busy so have I have my psychiatrist appointment this afternoon but nothing else today what about you guys
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