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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Beautiful flowers @Former-Member ..... ❣️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member,

Awwwww thank you for the picture of the gigantic dinasour turtle. I wonder where that was found. Looking at it closely, I'm pretty sure it might be my great great great great great great (add a few more greats in here) grandfather, Bertle.

You are right that I have been having a horrendous time over the past few weeks, but finally the storm is starting to settle.

@CheerBear Yay, @Former-Member discovered that the post had been deleted by accident. As I said last night, I super think you should get Giraffes Can't Dance for puffer fish. But sometimes when you're different, you just need a different song. How good is that line!!!!!! I'm super glad @Former-Member suggested this story.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Super glad you like it, @Phoenix_Rising. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Quietly waving to @Former-Member because I know you're not a Friday Feast kind of person usually but I am wanting to say hi. It's been a pretty blegh day here and I thought a lot about your this vs that comment as it was a bit (a lot) of a this vs that fight. Three LF all home and me feeling pretty sick today definitely hasn't helped.

Anyway, thinking of you and missing you. Hope your day had some good in it 💚 Have a feeling the weather might be more kind for you today? Hope the missing hear has felt good.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear Breakfast is served. I know it's raining so not out under the tree, maybe in bed with LF.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Greetings lovely nesters. 🌷

Hi @CheerBear. I’m sorry yesterday was such a blegh day and big grrr to this vs that fights. 🙁 I really hope you’re feeling better today. Sick is hard. Sick plus three is super hard. 🙁 It makes me sad about tag-teaming (or the lack thereof). Everything is making me so, so sad at the moment (even worse than usual). 🙁

The weather yesterday was better-ish—still mid to high twenties but sooooo humid. Ick. Today is lovely. Cool breeze, wet, hasn’t cracked 16 yet. So much better than mid-thirties. I hope it’s not too cold where you are or, if it is chilly-bones, I hope you’re wrapped up in a blanket burrito (served with a side of toasty little fish). 💚

I managed to read yesterday, which I’m definitely counting as a win. I really hope it lasts. I feel so very low right now.

I hope you and the LF have a good weekend, and that the sickishness, the bleghness and the this-vs-that-ness all take a hike. Thank you so much for being you, @CheerBear. You really do make my world brighter. 🌈🦄

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

To @CheerBear sorry you were feeling sick yesterday been thinking of you even though I haven't been around I've been sick myself and was in hospital for 10 days been out for a little while now still working stuff out didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anyone else for that matter

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Maggie breakfast was amazing thank you! 💗 So much just what I needed. I hope your day has been ok for you and you are enjoying the cool change.

So good to see you @Former-Member 😊 That unicorn is amazing. She looks so peaceful but still sparkly - perfect. I am feeling a little better today thanks. I have an extra set of hands which is great. It comes at a bit of a "big deep breaths" cost sometimes, but so thankful and worth it.

There's so much to be sad about sometimes bookish. When I get a bit sinky or crashy, I feel big sads and it seems like wherever I look the are reasons to feel it more. Sorry it is worse than usual for you at the moment and that you're feeling so low 🙁 Do you know what might be driving that if it is something/somethings in particular? (If you want to share). Listening if you do.

I'm glad the weather feels better for you today. It's definitely more bookish than CheerBear weatherish here today but it works while I'm feeling like burrito blanketing, blanket stitching, and hot tea (and some toasty little fish 😊). We're hovering around the 11° mark today.

Serious win on the reading yesterday too! Quite happy dance and a go you. I hope things are ok enough today. Seeing you has brightened my day. Thank you for the loveliness and the you-ness you share.

And hello @Pepsimax! It's great to see you also. I wouldn't think you were ignoring us (and if you were because you wanted or needed to, it would be totally ok anyway). I'll pop over to the thread you hang out on and say hi too. Hope the day is going ok - you had an early start/late night!

Hope there's good in today for anyone reading

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear Hi there, thanks for popping into my thread, always good to see your rainbow come up. Yesterday I just about crawled into the nest, it crossed my mind many times, I crawled into bed instead not wanting to bother anyone. Just like the bowling ally, half standing today. I hope you and all the other nesters have a niceish kinda day. 😍😍

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi in the nest. I've skimmed through notifications but can't reply this afternoon.

The bug thing that has been knocking me around for the last few days really hurt me last night and has continued to do so throughout the day. I'm struggling with my breath and am having coughing fits that are making me sick. I tried to get in to my Dr sooner than the end of next week when I have an appt for something else, but they're all booked until mid Jan 😞 I tried to find a random one but left it too late with LF to pick up, and the idea of dragging myself to an appointment let alone myself and them, is more than I can handle right now. I'll have to suck it up tonight and go tomorrow.

I'm exhausted and feeling like this is maybe a bit too much for one me plus three (it isn't, it just feels like it is). I feel unnerved because I know we are away from people who could help if I really needed them. The giant "this sucks, it isn't supposed to be like this, it's not fair, this shouldn't have happened, I miss everyone" feelings accompany that realisation, and I feel like I have to fight not to crash in the sadness and hurt. I feel pretty alone right now.

It'll be ok but it just sucks tonight. 3 hours until bed - yay. Hope it's been an ok day for anyone reading.
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