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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest. Sleep was really sleepy last night and I feel much better for it this morning.

@Shaz51 I hope your world slows down a bit so you can catch a break soon. @Former-Member and @Maggie thank you for understanding ❤

@Former-Member, sorry you're struggling with sleep stuff also. For me, a rough few nights in a row can make me feel like I'm in a big dark hole with no ability to see how to get out and no energy to try. It can be scary and consuming. I've been so tired during the day but not wanting to nap because I worry that it will make it harder to sleep at night. Then I get even more tired and my brain gets stuck on a repeat loop of all the horrible things, and then seems to apply those things to every aspect of my life 😞. I use my med to kind of reset it when I need and that can really help. Tricky with little people to need to keep an ear out for, but there's a point when I need to do it. I hope your spanner can be unthrown soon. You have a lot going on also. Tough stuff 🙁

@Maggie I saw how busy and warm feeling it was somewhere in a thread over that way ➡️ and it made me feel really good to see you connecting and sharing, and getting a bit of a break from your inner critic. They're frustrating things hey?! It's good to get a break from it sometimes. I would have loved to have been able to join in a bit more yesterday but my brain just couldn't make sense of basic anythings, let alone conversations. I have heard how hot it has been in Tassie and it sounds uncomfortable. Is the garden ok? We seemed to have skipped spring this year as we had the coldest start to November in many years and then jumped into a summer spell. The yarn I am using in my blanket is so thick I am going to melt under it, but my heart needs to get back to creating something so I will do that ☺

Thanks for the warm fuzzy 'people get it' feelings. Hope the day has something good in it for you all.

❤

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear

It was good to read that you slept better last night and feeling better for it. I too had to take something to sleep last night - running on 4 hrs for too long can wear the mind and body down, and yes, depression can hit. You described it well with all the worries becoming an overwhelming voice in our heads then (a repeat loop) - sleep deprivation making it all the harder to cope with life. It does. So I am like you and take a med on the odd occasion when I need it as it is necessary at times.

Glad to read you are going back to crocheting - the creative break does help to relax. I also find my creative outlets helps tire my overactive mind and can induce better sleep. When you finish I would love to see a pic of it. Have a good day my friend - am thinking of you ❤️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Peek a boo 👀 @CheerBear and everyone 💜💕

Trying to distract myself from feelings/thoughts. I thought after a week if staying home I'd feel better. Flu symptoms today.
I can relate to the sleep deprivation Cheerbear and all. (Too hard to tag everyone on phone)
It makes Iit very difficult to get out of the dark hole.

Must be cuppa time ☕🍰

How's Sid Sloth?

I haven't kept up with reading everyone's messages. So I don't know what's been happening . Been trying to just survive.

I hope you and LF are going ok. 💕

🌸🌼🌹🌸🌼🌹🌸

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member thank you ❤ Hope you feel a little better for having slept.

@Former-Member 😊 at the supermarket (yuck big yuck). Might just stop and have a coffee right here. Sounds a lot better than working out what is for dinner. Shops so busy 😞

You'll have to ask clown fish how Sid the sloth is (this is why I can't have nice things haha). I'm sure Sid is being well on though and will make a return to my room soon. Maybe we will have to have a whole crew of Sids at our house 😉

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Really hard 🙁

Better get back to working out food.

😗💕 Great to see you

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hmm ! need to food shop too.
Not today, maybe later, maybe not.

Glandular fever flares up often @CheerBear
Just another "joy" of life 😕

I'll leave you to shop.

😊💜💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi all nesters. I’m doing the same as @Former-Member at the moment. I really haven’t been keeping up much on the forum but wanted to say hi. Bella sorry to hear you are not well. 😔
I am finding myself in lots of new and interesting headspaces at the moment (most of them more positive than they’ve been......although 5 days in hospital in the last week helped immensely). I’m a bouncing off walls a little in the last few days, although today has felt more like I’m face planting and smacking in to them but not in a dire way, just more of a vague stumbly way.
I just wanted to drop in and say hi and I’m thinking of all on the nest. At some stage I’ll work out how and where to post some updates. Not much and lots has been happening in my world 😳
Take care all 💜🤗💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

So good to see you @Teej 😊 Wonky times but good to see positives in there too. Hope the sharks are going well also 💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Teej 💜
Nice to hear from you.
Glad the hospital stay was positive for you.
Life is a roller coaster, that's for sure 😮

I'm going to try and nap now.
Think of you too and wonder how you're going. 😙

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member - I tried to find you a photo but I need to get on from my laptop. Something is telling me to post it to you tonight so I will try and find it. Hope you're doing ok-ish?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks, @CheerBear. Not so much. I'm safe enough but not okay or even okayish really.

Thank you for being you, @CheerBear. I am so grateful to have 'met' you. 🌷

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