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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Oh @Former-Member😞 I SO get it. That's a long long time to be there and it's so ok to have that be something that comes into it.
The feeling of being stuck and imprisoned is right up there with the hardest of them.
There are people who can help with this stuff in terms of advice (legal etc) support (relationships counselling if you wanted that/counselling/guidance through whatever process you decide) and a whole lot of understanding here too. They'll be a way to help you get help if you want it.
Is leaving something you've been thinking of for a while?
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
A very long time @CheerBear I thought being up the other end of house would work and I try and go in my room alot. Doesn't help. It's scarey going.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I wouldn't know where to go
I kniw there's social workers at Centrelink but haven't been brave enough to go there @CheerBear
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
We've been to counselling in the past @CheerBear II don't trust anyone anymore
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I think it can work sometimes, but from most of the stories I have heard about living apart like that, it doesn't help in the long run @Former-Member. Not for those who feel like they're stuck with that option.
Do you and your husband have any ok times?
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
The social workers can be great at c-link with this stuff from my experience @Former-Member. Relationships counselling can go either way.
Do you feel safe there? (I feel like I really need to ask that but you don't have to answer (anything at all) if you don't want). I feel alarm bells, and I am realising they are set off pretty easily with this stuff, but I also wish someone I trusted asked me that question.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Not really. I try and stay away. We don't talk much. @CheerBear
It's sleep time for you. We can chat another time. 💜 it's ok.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Sort of safe @CheerBear I try and keep to myself
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I'm sure you do a really good job of keeping yourself safe too @Former-Member, but there really are people who can help you through this and who can support you to make sure you stay safe and are safer than sort of. 1800 RESPECT are really good at going over it all and giving out referrals to services who can support you and I can send you some links to general ideas if you'd like. Damn I wish I could be there in person. There will be someone who can though, it's a matter of finding them.
It sounds like you've been managing this for a really long time 😞
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @CheerBear I better shower and get to bed and try and sleep
Thankyou for chatting I wish you were here too. 😊 Nighty night 😴💜
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