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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
I'm crawling into a real life nest on my lounge for the day today. The catt scratch hurt me last night. I don't understand how they think it's ok to call late, poke and then leave me alone with giant feelings, despite me telling them that's what happens. It's clearly still something we need to work out. Keeping all of this stuff away from my people is adding to my tiredness and feelings of disconnection but I'm trying really hard to put that worry to the side for now. Hoping a lounge day will really help me with this tiredness.
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear ❤ ❤ ❤ lots of hugs to you
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hiya @CheerBear,
my fix it brain fired up with this post. Can you negotiate with them to only call before ?? and if you think you need some assistance after that time you'll call. Do you have different time for weekdays when Lf are at school? Smiled at the term Catt scratch but not at the feelings it leaves. So sorry you couldn't sleep much. Glad you are in self care mode.
Im much better than yesterday but we'll see as i just roller coast most days.
My time is up 5% battery left on my iPad. I hope today is a nice calming regroup day.
Take care 💜🤗💐
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Also @CheerBear i thought id let you know that with your TI picture youve given me another idea. Not really to do with TI but the ways you've drawn it.... unless of course youd like to have a go?
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @outlander and @Former-Member.
🙂 "fix-it brain" Teej - I use the term fix-it brain too. I tried to work it out with them but I think it's more the individual person who calls and their approach, which is something I can't change. I do well with some, meh with others, and others leave me feeling worse. This whole thing feels long, painful and draining, which I'm sure you understand. Great to hear you're feeling better today.
Outlander - great to hear you've got some drawing inspiration. You should do whatever it is you want. I'm leaving TI be, at least for a while, and I have no energy for drawing at the moment. Hope you enjoy it though. There's some great ideas for that kind of drawing if you're interested. Look up zentangle/zendoodle patterns and you'll see heaps. I'd suggest heading to pinterest for it but kind of figured that goes without saying to you from me now.
I'm worried I won't be able to get back up from this nest but remembering that's never happened to me yet so it shouldn't happen now. I'm sad my life has become a series of get through the moments. I want my dreams and hopes back. I want my life back but it feels too broken to think it will ever be able to return. I know I'm being a snowflake at the moment but I can't help it. I like the idea of calling today 'self care' rather than 'puddle of melted snowflake' so I'll try and switch that around if nothing else.
Hope today is good for you both.
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Lol yes i wouldnt have guessed you suggesting pintrest @CheerBear😉😉 Yeah this drawing was from the pattern you did but not for TI is that where you get inspiration from when you draw from zentangle? Im still quite sick but going to relax study and draw whilr i have some time and cant be bothered to move I hope your day improves abit for you ❤❤❤ Hi @Former-Member@Phoenix_Rising@Former-Member
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hoping you can rest and recover @CheerBear I know the feeling of feeling broken. It's hard when you have kids to care for but hoping you can have a couch day. I wouldn't like a phone call from them late at night either.
I haven't been anywhere for days, I hear your frustration and understand.
Looks like I might rest again today, so I hope it's ok if I join your nest again. 🐻💟💕
Hi to @outlander@Former-Member@Phoenix_Rising💜💕
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I love it when you join the nest @Former-Member. Not that I love that you're feeling this way, but I like the idea that at least we're in this together. I'm wearing my giant old dressing gown that I love. Hope you're in your fluffy new one today 💗
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