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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
I'll do that now. @CheerBear the washing, I mean. It's the other stuff that's hard. 😮😣😨😕💕
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @Faith-and-Hope💕 I have a list every day. It's really hard stuff on there. Hard to explain. Sorting hard stuff. 💓
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Maybe the smaller easier jobs getting out of the way will help make the bigger tougher ones feel more doable @Former-Member. Hearing you though - if washing and dishes feel hard (which I totally get they can), the hard stuff can feel impossible.
💛
And thanks @Faith-and-Hope too. With you also, reading along and hoping so much it goes well for you.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
😮😣😨😢💜@CheerBear
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
😔@Former-Member
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear, feeling for your disappointment about this stage of your housing journey. Hoping the place you do find in time is a good one for you and the fish. It sounds like you are being wise in the way you have the stages of the housing timeline in mind. Wishing you the very best. ox
Hi @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope and everyone. ox
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear
So sorry that your plans for finding the right house has fallen though. I admire your attitude at the fact that you did everything you can to achieve this end - your best, as that is all any of us can do. Wherever you live you will create a happy family home as you truly have what it takes to make one - love. Wherever that is my friend is home 💕
And you never know, something may work out in the future that suits - you deserve it. Hold onto your dreams.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you @Mazarita and @-enigma - I really appreciate it 💗 I have two months now to find us somewhere to go but from now on I will have my hands up asking for my CM and the missing housing organisation to really step in and help. We can find an "anywhere but here will do" place (I think). Hope you're both well (am about to head around and see ☺) 💛
@Former-Member - how are you going tonight? 💗
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Not good at all @CheerBear Thanks for thinking of me. 💜 I have no go left.
I hope you find a house soon. A nice one, you deserve a nice one.
Hi @Mazarita💜
In response to: I'm in a nest
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
So sorry to hear that your timeline for the house hasn't been working out @CheerBear. I really hope that something great comes up for you soon.
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