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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Yes, mum lives close by, which makes it harder. No excuses. 😮😣 I have told her several times not to talk about family, she forgets. 😣😕 I have wanted to be firmer, but her health is not good. She couldn't handle hearing anything stressful from me. She's very sad D and I don't have much to do with her, which is hard. She cried about it recently and I've never seen her cry, not joking. 😮 So the guilt piles up.
Oh my gosh! Haha! Wedding plans..... How will I be then. 😂 What about being a nanna??? 😮 The best ever. I'll babysit, no worries. I'll be buying everything cute. 😀😆 D is not in a hurry at all. 😕 Puppy, hopefully at Christmas. I still didn't get washing up. Cooking meatballs instead 😂 Always side tracked.
Wow! About your grandmother. That's sad. 💜 and very hurtful. I never met mine.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Oops I forgot the washing bit too - did the vacuuming and tidying on my way to the basket though!
Tough with your mum @Former-Member😞 Wish there was more I could say. Lotsa hugs though.
Wedding and grand baby stuff - that's going to be so fun for you 😄 I can feel the love you have for D ❤
Walking to the washing machine right now 😉
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
No need to say anything @CheerBear Thanks for being here. 👍💜
Want to mention re formal dress, but reluctant to share too much info on forums. 😮
Have quite a few big events coming up. 😮😨
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I get it re the dress @Former-Member🙂 Not saying just means there's heaps of room for me to imagine 😉
Time to get moving to get my littles now. Nice to catch up with you today 🙂
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Happy Birthday to you @5HT💜
I hope that you have a lovely day.
🎂🎈🎉🎊🎂🎈🎉🎊🎂🎈🎉🎊
☕🍰🍩🍦🍭🍬🍫
🌷🌺🌸🌼🌹🌻🌷🌸🌼🌹🌻
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member please see above message 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Good Morning @CheerBear and everyone. 😊💜💕
☕🍵☕🍵
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning @Former-Member ☺ Hope your morning has started off ok 💗
I missed that today was @Former-Member 's birthday.
Happy 21st 5-HT 😉
Hope you enjoy your cat cake today 😊
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good afternoon in the nest.
I'm feeling a bit disappointed today as my plan to wait for a decent house comes to an end (unless one magically appears on the website by tomorrow afternoon). It's frustrating because I was told a couple of these houses would come up 'in the next few weeks' which they haven't and it's been more than 'a few weeks' now. I have to start looking at getting any house and that sucks. I'm finding comfort in the fact that I really have done absolutely everything I can and I really couldn't have done anymore than that. It's a shame perseverance doesn't make houses though.
So today, feeling as I have, I sat with my blanket and worked on it until I finished this part (finally).
It keeps growing! I can't remember what comes next or what colour it will be but I'm looking forward to picking it up from here ☺
Hope the day is ok enough for all.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
How's your day going? @CheerBear
I'm so incredibly tired of pushing myself. I really don't want to be alive, but I know I have to. So many things going on and still so many things to sort. All I feel like doing is sleeping and then comes the panic attacks.
This isn't living, it's surviving.
Can't see any end to this, it's so hard.
Sorry to be so negative, but sometimes it's so hard to be positive when this goes on every day.
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