FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

2,731 - 2,740 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Shaz51. You too 💜🤗💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I feel like I'm avoiding answering the how are you/are you ok question bella and teej 😕 I want talk but can't really, but I am ok enough thanks. I'm not feeling super great tonight, am feeling rubbish about tomorrow and worse about Tuesday. But my big thing is planned for Wednesday and I am hoping I'll feel much more ok then. Two more days - I've done 363. I can do two more.

I'm glad the snake wasn't in your house too @Teej and @Former-Member 😮 lol. I think I would pack the car and move somewhere like Antarctica or something if snakes were inside. Antarctica sounds like a snake free, spider free place maybe?

You have been out and about lots Bella. D is lucky to have a mum who does all of the things you do with and for her. Hope you can do some looking after you more from Tuesday onward.

Hope you and Mr Shaz are going ok @Shaz51 💗

I have some time out from the LF coming up - I'm looking forward to it. I love them lots, but I could use some decent time out. I might just lie in bed for two days haha

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good you're getting some time off @CheerBear
Sorry you're not feeling great. 💟

Yes, somewhere where there's no creepy crawlies sounds good .
Scandinavia? 😀

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm sorry you are not doing so great @CheerBear. I think it's so unfair that yours is dragged out too. One day would be a bit easier, not great but all over in one day. Thinking of you for the next few days. A bit excited for you for Wednesday though. I hope that eases it all a bit.

Hugs 💜🤗💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Don't they have amazing furniture there @Former-Member? I have no idea :S Haha! Yes please 😄

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Teej ❤ It sucks. I just deleted a heap of things I wanted to say. I wish I could talk more here, but specifics scare me. Going back to thinking that you don't need to know to 'know'.

Scandinavia sounds awesome right now. I'm going to go and check the weather and pack 😛 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Might be a bit chilly though @CheerBear
Gets -30C 😮😨 Can't imagine it.
Didn't really notice it when younger. Used to keep active, 3 pairs of socks, scarf covering most of face etc. I do remember face, toes, fingers feeling numb sometimes. 😮
Yes, nice furniture . 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

😮 -30! hmmm after spending the last 3 months complaining about cold, maybe I can deal with a snake encounter once a year. Did you live there? Wow, very cool ☺ (very freezing haha)

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Went to school there for 3 years @CheerBear
Best time of my life.
Life went downhill when we returned to Australia.
I do appreciate Australia, moving was traumatic though and "bad stuff " started to happen then.

Was an amazing time. Learnt the language, to ski, ice skate. Had a great time.

I'd love to take D back there.
Need to be well.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You know I've found the best thing about the forum is you don't need to 'know' to know @CheerBear. It helps about the general idea but not the specifics. I also get sometimes the need to just share it without judgement as a way of describing experiences and I guess some validation. I think that just this week I came to understand that while my story doesn't define me it has had a lasting impact which is sometimes helpful for some to know to support me....I'm not talking about the forum.......but it did help me that a couple of people on the forum know of my story but I don't have the need to share it again. It was much easier for me to tell and bury my story a long time ago. I think now though for me it's only helpful to give context. I have an idea that I'm raving but also wanted you to know that we can 'know' and 'not know' at the same time and it's all good 😳😊💜😘

2,731 - 2,740 of 5,090