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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oh so good @Pepsimax!

Heading off for a bit so if I don't catch up with you again tonight, I hope you sleep well tonight x

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear
Ive been following as much as i can here.. i wanted to just check in and see how your going?
I know youve been going through some stuff with housing and a few other things too.
How are you going with your checkups for your health issues? U dont have to go into details just a general question to see how your going... 🙂

Hows your dbt books going? Are you finding it helpful?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @outlander. Thanks for stopping past. Please don't feel like you need to keep up with things, but thank you for your interest anyway.

I'm going well thanks. Although things are not all sorted, it helps a lot that they're not all hitting me at once so I can work my way through them bit by bit. It's really hard to have big tough stuff all at once, as I'm sure you understand.

I am sorting out the house stuff as well as I can and trying my best to balance wants and needs (which is tricky sometimes). I have a couple of weeks left of waiting and applying for a 'want' house before I'll have to move to just finding a 'need' house.

I have my next appointment with the surgical crew in a month to work out the next step there. I'm trying not to think about that at the moment.

The DBT stuff is also going really well. I feel great when I'm learning and there are lots of helpful ideas in it. Going slowly with it too though and not putting any pressure on myself there.

I hope you're going ok today and that the next tricky thing you're facing goes as smoothly as possible.

☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning nesters,

how is everyone today?

The Good

Dog is much better today, he can walk and run again and his tail is out from between his legs. I was worried he'd done some serious damage but it appears it was muscular and he's a bit of a wussy dog (which I already know 😊.......his mother has spoiled him and made him that way).

The Bad

The weather here is atrocious which is disappointing because I was looking forward to a lovely spring stroll but it will be more like walking in a blizzard 😏.

The Ugly

i only slept from 7:30 am to 10:30 am and am feeling in a bit of a daze. I woke with kids (sharks) yelling cooking instructions to and from the kitchen to the bedroom with my room in the middle 😏. I decided to make a stovetop espresso pot of coffee which was all going well until I forgot to put water in and just burnt coffee grounds instead 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:.

The Good

Re-made the coffee in the more traditional way......with water for the coffee to be filtered in to. Feeling a little human again. Dog is curled up by my side whinging to go for a walk so I guess my world is back to normal.

Wishing everyone a good day. 💜🤗💐

🐢💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hiya @Teej 🙂 Your teej-isms (like the good, the bad, the ugly) make me smile. So happy to hear dog is feeling better. And that you managed to make 'traditional' coffee (in the end).

Hope the human feelings stay around for a bit and that you get to catch up on some rest (3hours sleep isn't much) 💗

We're being verrrrry quiet again today. The LF come good for a little bit but then crash big time. I've barely heard from them all day. I'm quietly working on my blanket hoping they perk up properly soon so we can enjoy our time together a bit more. They're pretty miserable at the moment 😞

@Former-Member - hope your day is going ok and @Maggie too and @Former-Member would love to hear how you're getting on as well if you'd like to stop past. Hi to anyone else who might be reading this 😊 (will head over to a quiet ocean soon once I've had a bit of a think about this adventure @Phoenix_Rising).

🌞

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @CheerBear 😊

Heres hoping little fish bounce back like my dog has, it was quite remarkable the difference between yesterday and today. I'm thinking you may be on holidays which would be a good thing for them to recuperate as well. Thinking of you because miserable LF is draining too. Look after you.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi everyone 👋 💜💟💗
☕🍰🍵🍩

My day was ok, thanks @CheerBear 💕
Went shopping again and bought some new jeans on sale.
Have D's friends coming again tonight for a bonfire.
Hopefully your LFs will be on top again tomorrow.
Did you manage to stay well?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member 🙂 you are getting out and about a lot. I'm thinking it might be a bit more busy in your world with D home at the moment.

So far I'm not too bad thanks, just tired but I think that's a combo of looking after miserable littles and being stuck inside more than usual. I've fought off being sick so hopefully I can stay that way. We've got fun days ahead this week and we need to all be well enough to enjoy them.

Hope the bonfire is fun for you all tonight 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yes, D likes to go out every day. 😮
Luckily she gets out and about with friends and not just me. I like my relax at home time. Need it. 😀
Good you have fun plans ahead and hoping you'll all feel well enough.
I hope my body can keep up too.
It's good to get out.
@CheerBear
Might head off now.
Enjoy your evening and sleep well.
Relax time for me. My back/body aches every time I shop. Syress related do you find the same?
Might check in later . 😊💟

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

yes i surely understand about being bombarded, im glad things arent doing all that to you so your able to work out things in steps and prioritise things @CheerBear

finsing a house is hard work, i hope you get that sorted soon and its something that you need and want. its good to have abit of luxury in a house too.

good luck for next month, i hope everything goes ok for you. am here for you if you need me ok

thats great about the DBT stuff, keeping and being occupied even for a little while is good and if its benefiting you thats great too. keep up the good work

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