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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sorry @Teej I went off here before you replied last night. 💜
Wasn't sure if you were still up.
That's good your son gets himself off to work. Glad he has an apprenticeship he can work on.
D isn't sure what she wants to do. Probably uni next year.
I can't do the driving lesson thing. Tried and freaked out.
You are braver than me. 😮😂

I hope you were able to rest today @CheerBear 💜

I've been out most of the day and am ready for a cuppa and rest.
Bought new microwave and 2 sets of summer pj's. 😀
☕🍵

Hi everyone 👋💟

Gosh! Shopping is tiring. 😮

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks CB
I'll snuggle in here with my blankie and teddy.
Sometimes I wish I was a different neurotransmitter, than the one I am. This neurotransmitter is broken. I don't think she can be fixed. I think the world can live happily without serotonin.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Former-Member. It so much sucks to feel broken 😞 I am glad you are snuggling with your blankie and teddy. I don't have too much I can say that might help, but I am listening and will sit with my pink fluffy blanket with you if you'd like.

(I've only just realised your name meaning too)

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

When doing neuropharmacology at uni 5-HT was heaps easier than writing serotonin all the bloody time. I was thinking of using ATP, as my name,but I don't feel I'm an important enough person for that.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I can see how @Former-Member is easier than serotonin @Former-Member.

I have no idea what ATP is, but I'm guessing it is important. I couldn't do the natural science stuff ever. I think anyone who can is pretty clever.

Lots of us think you're important 5-HT, but I know you're not feeling it at the moment.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hiya @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Shaz51, @Former-Member, @Phoenix_Rising

Im feeling like a big sooky la la tonight, overtired and just not feeling it too. Sorry you are feeling low @Former-Member. Wondering if we could order take out for Friday feast in the nest. Just in a curling up in a ball mood I think.

I had an ok day, just started to lose the plot a bit after my CC triggered some stuff I was trying to bury. It was not intentional though and not huge but just enough to mess this little black duck up for a bit and turn her into a sooky la la for a bit.

Hoping everyone else had some good parts to their day.

💜🤗💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Teej 💗

I think that sounds like a great idea

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I thought so too @CheerBear 😃. It was the most coherent thought/idea I've had all day 😜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Haha oh dear @Teej!

I was doing well but my kids turned into, I have no idea what. They're settled and watching a movie at the moment, but I feel like doing the curl into a ball thing now.

Ice cream? I'm sure we can get that delivered here 😄

CC = care co-ord yeah?
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