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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Snuggling sounds like good @CheerBear 🐻
It was a 2 hour slooooow shop, because I didn't want to have to go home and then out again to pick my girl up, she was doing an assignment woth friends. Worked out good, she was finished just as I had packed up the car and was on my way to get her.
Usually pick up fresh fruit, milk etc often.
I keep frozen veggies handy.
No need to reply anymore tonight, or even read. You need your rest.
I'm going to try and get to bed at a reasonable hour.
Thankfully nights are stoll cold enough for snuggle blanket.
When I had to pack bags the other night, included was my snuggly blanket, snuggly dressing gown and new pillow. They are a "must pack". 😉
Sleep well. 😴💕





In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member
I'm guessing you're at uni??
What are you studying?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Peek-a-boo 👀 @Phoenix_Rising 😂👋💕🐢
I see you 😀
Showertime for me.......

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

HI @Former-Member, I'm doing public health and infectious diseases.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member {Giggle}. I'm not really here...and yet I am.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good on you @Former-Member
That's great.

I would find it too difficult to study.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Ok, I'll pretend I didn't see you @Phoenix_Rising 😂😂😂😂🐢😉😏

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I love study. But I find it hard.
Right now I have no choice - I don't have a job, so I'm on Austudy. If I drop a subject I'll lose austudy. If I don't study I'll fail. So I don't have any choice right now.
I'm sooo tired and in need of a break. I'm just exhausted. But I chose to do this, so I'd better get doing it.
How are you today?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sounds hard @Former-Member
I'm not as bad as last week, but no where near as good as I'd like to be.
It's been a looooooong very sloooow journey.
As @Phoenix_Rising says, it's ok to be slow, as long as we go forward.
Ok, I better be off for now.
It's a pity that you aren't able to do less subjects, so it wouldn't be so hard for you.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I think that I misunderstood what DSS stands for @CheerBear 😆😮


Oh and even my own mother doesn't have my mobile number. That feels really mean, but a conversation with her is FULL of triggers. It affects me for days. And she has no idea. I have tried to explain, but some people just don't "get it".
I hope you're sleeping.
I'm in bed by 10. 👍

Here's a morning coffee for you. Super strong. ☕ 🌻🌼🌻🌺🌷
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