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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
@CheerBear good to see you smiling 😆😙😙 Ohh you and pintrest lol i shouldve known 😉😉😉 thats ok though thats your thing and i must admit i love pintrest too!! And the smiling horse thinks so too hehe
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I noticed @Former-Member 's post and not only now super like her, as we sorted out in my very first post here as a pink bear, but I now super SUPER like suzanne! My favourite helping person knows I like hearing that she thinks I can sometimes have an impact on helping people too, and I see no reason why catt should be any different. Well, I mean aside from the fact they are the ones with treatment orders lingering over my head, but that aside....
I hope you continue to be as you as you are too @Phoenix_Rising. I know that we've got our work cut out for us, but this is that doing it together but separately thing. And at the rate we both seem to go through helping people, maybe we can change the world 😛
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear I fully intend to remain as me as me as I can be because no one else can be more me than me. And on that note, I REALLY need to start making my way to my goodnight thread.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
While I am feeling good with some kind of nice feeling chemical thing (maybe dopamine as I was reminded of tonight 😉 ), I am going to say goodnight and go and fall asleep to all the wonderful humans of Grey Sloan Memorial hospital, where I am reminded that although sometimes I feel like my life has its fair share of drama, I am so glad I am me and not Meredith or Alex!
Night ocean and nest creatures. Thanks for the smiles (and tissues which I felt handed over a few times!).
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good night @CheerBear OMG i didnt know u liked greys anatomy! I love love it!!!
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Just between you and I @outlander, I totally said that for you 😉 Because I remember way back what seems like a lifetime ago, when we both very first joined here, we had a chat about Greys. So glad you saw this message.
Hope you sneak in some decent sleep. Looking forward to our high-fives later tomorrow ❤️
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Omg now i remember that too @CheerBear smarty pants 😋😋 haha your so cute. Thanks for thinking of me and i cant believe you remembered that!!
Yes our virtual hugs and high fives are on hand ❤❤❤
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear I have been reading along these last awful days but haven't been able to write. You are walking in such a similar path that I traveled four years ago. But you also have a lot more insight already to yourself that I never had and I think you can get through this you are very strong. I Just wanted you to know I have been reading and ca ring so much but finding it hard to write Hugs
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member - thank you so much. I so appreciate it, especially given that things are hard for you too. There's a cushion here if you'd like to sit quietly or sit and chat anytime. Thinking about you 💗
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning @outlander (and everyone).
I can't find where your thread is outlander but I wanted to wish you well for your appointment today. I have mine early so I'm about to get LF ready for school and get moving. After my appointment I have a counselling appointment so it's going to be a busy morning here. But will be thinking of you and looking forward to hesring how you get on today. Hugs. Deep breaths. We've got this 💛
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