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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Take care of you @Bella2 ...... 😔❤️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member ..... 😔❤️

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Mazarita ..... 🤗💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Really sucky days really, really suck @Former-Member. You're riding it out and maybe that's what your fight looks like today. Sounds like it's been a pretty tough time for your daughter too. I think she's pretty lucky to have a mum who cares about her and loves her.

Hi @Mazarita 🙂 How has your day been? Hope you have managed to rest up a bit.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, and everyone,

Today I couldn't wake up. Broken sleep overnight as always, but more sleep than usual. Had trouble keeping my eyes open when I woke around 7, same again at 9, then 11. Kept having to go back to bed. Luckily C came home about midday and he was being silly and made me laugh. That woke me up a bit! Then we spontaneously had lunch with our friend around the corner. Since getting home mid afternoon, I've been doing video. Feeling a bit better for taking my doctor's advice on my asthma and using the inhaler a lot more. It's helping with the bad coughing and breathing problems.

How's everyone's evening going? Sending happy vibes.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Mazarita 🙂

Sounds like you really needed the rest this morning. Did you get out to the beach today? Bummer with the cough hanging around, but good to hear the inhaler is helping.

It's been a really nice night here. We have had visitors which is unusual but really feel goody tonight. While they were watching a movie with two LF, I spent ages playing around with one fish and the cats. The LF have over-loved them, and they're not the most outgoing when they are around, so it's been fun and there have been lots of laughs. One cat (my precious 'Mouse') is teeny tiny, super smart and very stealthy, while my Noodle cat is big, clumsy and has no idea about much of anything. They're very entertaining together sometimes 🙂

I just read your post on HOYD thread. I got the feels reading that you bought daffodils with your lunch money 💛

Hope the rest of your night is good 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, great to hear you had a nice night, laughter is a release. I like your description of Mouse, 'teeny tiny, super smart and very stealthy'. Sounds like an ace cat.

Yes, I remember after school with money left in my pocket and seeing the daffodils and jonquils outside a milk bar, so got them for mum. She liked it.

No beach today. Hopefully tomorrow. I've completed a draft of a video today, been at it for many hours now. Satisfying to have got to the first stage of completion. It will go through some more drafts yet, but I can rest on it now for a little bit.

Hope you are sleeping well now as I write.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

💜💕 @Mazarita ....

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Just checking to see how you're going today @Former-Member (if you're up to posting)? Hope you're all ok 😻
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