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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I think mr shaz might have eaten it with my snickers from the other day @Shaz51 😛

🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Lying on the couch in my snuggly gown. Trying to talk myself into having shower so I can go to bed. @CheerBear
I took anti anxiety meds.
Hate taking them. They make me so tired, but some days are just too stressful.
But I do feel better that I've made the step towards the operation
I've been putting it off to the point where I was getting super stressed.
Too many big things on the list and have to start doing them. So a ✔ for that one.
I'd rather it be me having the op.
I'm supposed to have 6 monthly skin checks too. Have had lots of skin cancers. The list goes on. Too much sometimes .

I'm glad you made the step and made appointment at your gp. The first step can be the hardest.
How are you tonight? ❤🍵
Peppermint tea time 😀

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sorry, kit kat all gone @Shaz51 😮
I was going to eat half, but too yummy 😀
🍫🍫🍫🍫

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nighty night 😴💜💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest 🙂

@Former-Member - bug hugs for yesterday 🐜🐛🐞🤗💗 That's a big stress thing that you're both facing. Well done on taking those steps forward. It sounds like they're important ones. Hope you enjoyed your snuggle gown and peppermint tea, and that you slept well last night. ☕🍰

Another quiet day here today. I have a counselling appointment and not much else on. I can feel a cold lingering around but it hasn't caught on yet. We have been very lucky this year not to have any big coldy things hanging around. The sky is turning a beautiful sunrise pink at the moment, and it's so pretty outside!

Hope everyone has a good day 🌞

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Bug hugs to you too @CheerBear 🐌🐛🐜🐞🐝
Rest day sounds good.
Hope counselling session goes well.
Are you able to mention what sort of op you need to have?
I understand if you can't.
I'm back in bed, but just about to get up and make a super strong coffee. ☕
Still aching and not feeling good, but life goes on. Things to do. 💜💕


Hi everyone. 👋💟💕☕🍰


Thinking of you @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member
💜💟💕
Sending love and hugs. ☕🍰☕🍰

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Former-Member ..... thinking of you too .... 💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hope that coffee tasted fab @Former-Member 🙂 I'll know more after the appointment with the surgeon re the op. It is likely that I need something taken out, which if it needs to go, something else will need to be fixed in it's place. Last time the surgical crew stepped in to 'fix' everything, I spent about a month in and out of hospital. My GP and nurse have referred me to a new surgeon to work out what might be the best next step, but that's all going to depend on them and what they think will be right from here. It'll be a fairly lengthy process I think. Are you wanting/able to say when your daughter needs hers?

Hope your afternoon is going well Bella 🙂

Hi to @Faith-and-Hope. Hope your coffee/s (you drink coffee yeah?) taste great today too ☕💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @CheerBear ..... 💜💕

Listening along with your news .....

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm glad you have been referred to a new surgeon @CheerBear
Certainly not something to look forward to, gosh, let's hope, no complications this time.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Good on you for making the step though.
I find it hard making the first step. Never been good at making appointments. I guess it's because I went through a stage where I was constantly having appointments, doctor's, skin specialist, dentist etc......
How did your appointment go today?

Yes, I would like to be there for the op, but need to see specialist again. Didn't ask all the questions I wanted to. I was so shocked at what I was hearing, that I couldn't think what to ask.
No point me worrying about something I can't change though.
Just have to do what we know to do, hey? And be wise, research and gain knowledge so we know we're making correct decisions.

I borrowed a book from the library yesterday - Heal Your PTSD - Dynamic Strategies That Work. Have only read a few pages, sounds good so far. We can rewire/retrain our brains. I need to reread things to remind myself that there is hope.
😀💜💪
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