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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

By the way @CheerBear
I borrowed the book, The Body Keeps Score. Oh my gosh! I had to have a break from reading it.
It's got some "yucky" reading in it.
Will try and read the solution before I take
it back.
Very interesting, but certainly not easy reading 😮😣😨

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Delicious and perfect @Former-Member! (Watch me type in your old name 45 million times now 😛 )

Yay for a new blanket! We have a bit of a blanket collection happening with @Phoenix_Rising 's weighted blanket, my pink fluffy blanket, @Former-Member has a pink fluffy blanket too, and yours as well. What colour is yours?

You are so SO welcome in the nest whenever/however you'd like to be here 🙂 It's good to take a break if you need. It's great to come back if you want to too. It's a step towards not isolating yourself as much. It's so great to see you. Sometimes when I was making a cuppa and looking at my pot of succulents on the window sill, I found myself thinking of you, wondering how you were going. Sorry to hear to things are still difficult. You're still keeping on keeping on and that's pretty fab.

It's freezing here this afternoon! So windy too. We had our 14ft enclosed trampoline make its way across the backyard today. We've been in and out and backwards and forwards all day and it's stressed me out thinking it might lift up and crash into the fence 😕 I've had to put the old bed frames and heads onto the legs of it because I had nothing to tie it down with. It seems to have stayed put for now.

Early dinner and then movie with the fish before early bed. Our adventure Saturday's are exhausting (but worth it) now.

Hope the afternoon is treating everyone well

🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yeah I've definitely found it way more challenging than I expected and haven't been able to get through it yet @Bella2. I'm going to try and read the yoga chapter tomorrow though because I've been on a yoga adventure with @Phoenix_Rising over the last couple of weeks and I'd like to see what BVDK has to say about it.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member I mean! I did it already!

Better fly! Catchya later 💛

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oops! Re trampoline @CheerBear 😮
Glad you've had an adventure day.
Only reply when you have time. I know you're very busy with LF.
Had tears reading your message, missed you too. 💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

My snuggle blanket is an aqua colour. @CheerBear 😀🐻👍

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hehe, @CheerBear -- blankets are the best thing to ever be created.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member, It is SUPER nice to see you back here in the nest. I'm excited that you have joined our bookclub for TBKTS. I have read a bit more but haven't got as far as writing about it. I jumped in, in the middle of the book where it starts talking about how to fix the muddle. It is still a pretty intense read, but I'm guessing the second half is probably a bit less intense than the first half.

Do you do yoga? As @CheerBear mentioned, we had a great yoga adventure while you were away. This Monday will be episode three of this ongoing comedy.

@Former-Member I totally agree that blankets are a wonderful invention! I also very much like my hot water bottle on these cold winter nights. I think they are a pretty good invention too. By the way, do you do yoga?

@CheerBear, I super love that @Former-Member remembered to deliver you back to your nest after FF. I hope you and the LF have had a good day. I had quite a nice day here in sunny Sydney. Hey...do you want to know something funny? I heard on the news that it had been super windy down in Melbourne and the first thing that popped into my mind was "well that would be because the moon has been wearing underpants." Really, what is @Former-Member doing to me! As though I wasn't already quirky enough.

Ok, well this was a bit of a quick flyby. I am still working at limiting my forum time a bit...with varying degrees of success each day.

 

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Phoenix_Rising It's lovely to hear from you.

Sounds like a good idea starting the book half way through. Yes, the first part was not pleasant at all. I am going to skip parts of it and go to the helpful parts.

I do yoga/pilates at home. I used to go to classes, but these classes stopped, unfortunately. At least I don't have to drive anywhere, I just need the motivation. Some days I can't seem to find any motivation, like today/tonight, maybe later.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Phoenix_Rising

They are quite the invention. I remember as a kid my Nan would give me hot watter bottles at night. I should really buy one again!

I have tried yoga before, but realised that I am not as flexible or coordinated as I would have first hoped.
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