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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Phoenix_Rising - we must have been writing our posts at the same time. I had no idea that the nbn thing needed a battery. I've never even seen an nbn anything but I did just google it. It looks like a huge connection box set up thing as well 😕 That would have thrown my whole day out and wiped me out too. Yikes.

I think the exercise bike is a great plan! That's awesome that you've managed to ride today and yesterday. Do you like riding on a not-exercise bike?

Big loved their thing and is very happy and excited thank you. They were super confident going in and totally beaming coming out. It will definitely be worth it, and once the others and I find our groove, it will be easier for everyone. The nightmares and tiredness from last night hasn't helped with today but that won't be every week hopefully. That's very cool that you thought of me when you saw unicorn slippers 🙂

I feel better hearing you don't think it's a super emergency thing. I panicked and flipped a bit but feel more ok with waiting now. I feel a bit silly sometimes after flip outs but I can't really help having them any more than I am trying to do now.

I'm going to try for an early night too. Hope you sleep well Phoenix_rising

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi nest-ers, how is everyone tonight?
I'm feeling a little down atm.
I'm so sad to hear your little one is sick @CheerBear are you taking her to the vet?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

sigh i just wanna cry . just wanna die

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

💜💕 @Former-Member .....

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest

@Former-Member - I am sorry you were feeling down last night. I read on another thread that you spoke with beyond blue and it was helpful. I hope you slept well afterwards. Have you got any plans today? I didn't take cat in last night but plan to call the vet today as soon as it is open and see what they say and will take cat (who has a unique name so I'll use Noodle for here I think) in if they think I should. I feel very guilty and very sad but hopefully it is nothing major and can be fixed with some medication and rest. I put my pink fluffy blanket in the dryer and made it warm and Noodle spent a good chunk of the night on it from what I can tell.

@Former-Member - I'm sorry to hear you seemed to be feeling so bad last night too. Did you find something helpful to do in the end? How are you this morning?

@Maggie - that nest looks so soft and warm. A perfect spot to land. I was looking for a candle for you and couldn't choose because I don't know your favourite colour. I saw this and it made me smile though.

What's your favourite colour? I hope your day today is good for you.

Hi everyone else who might be in the nest.

My day is getting Noodle sorted and getting the fish ready for school tomorrow. I think I'll feel heaps better once these things are under control.

Hope today is good for everyone

💛

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning nesters. I am feeling quite bright this morning because I have already achieved my goal of 10km on my exercise bike. So even if I do nothing else all day, I have done SOMETHING - yay for me. I think the antidepressant is kicking in enough for me to be able to do the other stuff (like riding my exercise bike) that I know helps with depression. @CheerBear you asked me the other day if I like riding non-exercise bikes. No, I've never really got into bike riding. The thing I like about my exercise bike is that when I am super depressed, I just have to get on it and start riding. I don't have to get dressed or get out of the house - I just have to get on it. Then, once I've ridden it, the next natural step is to have a shower, which then leads to me getting dressed, and hey presto, I've achieved three things (exercise, shower, dressed). I have gone through phases in the past of being really consistent and the fact that I haven't been able to do it for a few months reflects how dark the dark hole has been. I am super hopeful that with a kick-along by the antidepressant, I will be able to take these baby steps towards healing my brain.

@CheerBear I hope Noodle is ok. All my animals have very unique names too. They are each symbolic of what was happening in my life when I got each one of them.

@Maggie The picture of the nest that you posted looks super soft and snuggly.

@CheerBear I am a little concerned about this trend of lighting candles in the nest. Does your nest meet all fire safety standards for nests?

I hope everyone has a nice day. I plan to stay off the forum and HOPEFULLY be a bit productive.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear@Phoenix_Rising I thought my favourite colour was blue, but looking in my wardrobe and beyond it seems to be purple??? I think!!!! Hope Noodle is ok @CheerBear I know how much our fur babies mean to us, lifelines at times. Hope you all manage a restful day today.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I love how well that sequence works for you with the bike @Phoenix_Rising. I'd love to be able to jump on an exercise bike on days like today where I have the fish home and snuggled in pjs and dressing gowns. I have zero chance of getting them up and out for a ride because it's so cold and looks like it will rain soon. When the weather is nicer they will be up for riding more which will be good. I find getting in to my riding stuff the hardest part of going for a ride but if I can manage to get dressed for it then I feel like I've done the hard part (until I'm half way around my track and can't turn back and wish I hadn't ridden so far!) and the rest is just fun. Good to hear you're feeling bright and hope you have a productive day. I'll make sure the nest is covered in candle flame proofing for you 😛

@Maggie - people who wear purple are almost always great people I've found 🙂 My wardrobe suggests my favourite colour is black which is pretty much all I wear. Purple and blue are pretty together and make a nice match.

Noodle has eaten, had a drink and then chased a marble around the house for a little while before heading to the favourite chair which seem like good signs. I don't think this is going away without a trip to the vet but I feel comfortable that I can skip the hike across the city today and go in tomorrow to our local vet with just myself. I think it will be a lot less stressful for both of us if we can avoid a long car ride (these cats don't like the car at all) and do this quietly and calmly (which is not going to happen with the fish). My brain tizzed out last night but has come back to a bit more clear thinking today 🙂

The LF have all finished tidying up what they had been asked to do so they could do what they wanted to do today, the washing machine is on and a couple of beds have been stripped. Good start here 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

people who wear purple are almost always great people I've found I love purple @CheerBear, @Maggie

my room was painted lilac and purple , not now it was all repainted white

Hello @Former-Member. @Faith-and-Hope, @Phoenix_Rising

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