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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
@CheerBear I am busy doing some wave-riding right now, but I wanted to say that your adventure sounds SUPER exciting. I can't wait to hear more about how you are going to change the world!!!
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Phoenix_Rising - I've had a read through what's behind this wave and I am shaking my head and feeling so incredibly frustrated and angry for you. I have no words at the moment, other than I'll be here for this one too, even when I'm not. I am baffled and sad thinking of how much of a muddle that one would be, even if right now you're not feeling feeling it.
😞
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you @CheerBear. At least you and Squishy and Mr Seahorse don't think I'm too "complex." It's a shame you can't crochet a psychiatrist for me.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear and everyone. 💗💕👋 I just arrived home after being out all day. Might check in later.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hey @Former-Member - i hope you've had a good day being out today. I'm about to head out (again) too, but will come back later as well. I'm ready for bed already 😴
@Phoenix_Rising - definitely not too complex for us 🙂
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Busy day/night for you @CheerBear😮
Clothes shopping today. Bought a few things. Really tired, but not as super depressed as I was. Teary, but thank goodness some of the depression has lifted. Struggling with thoughts re ex brother. He has a big part in me having ptsd. Trying not to think about it, but I think a confrontation is coming up with my mother. Not yet, but I think it has to happen, so I can move forward. Not looking forward to it and was hoping it wouldn't have to happen. But I can see that I need to. 😮😣😨😢
I hope you are able to have an early night tonight. 😊🌷🌼🐻
Snuggle up in your nest when your little one's are in bed. I have my smuggle gown on over my clothes. 😂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good evening nesters,
I am about to jump off the forums for the evening and I probably won't reappear until Friday Feast. Friday is the busiest day in my week and even though it is tiring, it is super good to have some structure to the day.
@Former-Member I am super glad to hear that some of the depression is lifting. It sounds like a confrontation with your mother would be super tough...but I'm glad that it is a future challenge and not a tonight-challenge. I hope you have a peaceful evening.
Night all. I'm super glad you made your nest @CheerBear. It is so snuggly and safe in here...and just next door to the octagonal room! Yep, your nest is SUPER.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Nighty night @Phoenix_Rising😴💗💕 I hope you sleep well and hope your busy day goes well tomorrow.
Hmm! Yeah, NOT looking forward to confrontation. I wish there was a way out of it I'd rather hide from it. 😂 Won't be for a while yet, not feeling strong enough. I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but I've been hurting for too long.
Hopefully you're asleep already. 💜
In response to: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member obviously not asleep yet, but migrated from laptop to phone so I am on the way. 😊
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