Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
A dog is a great idea 🙂 someone to keep you company and walk with you @Former-Member
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Sorry @CheerBear ❤ Just had to see to my girl. We've been arguing alot lately . Things haven't been the same here since kitty went missing etc etc etc
Might try and sleep very soon.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
😞 that's no good with your girl @Former-Member. Kitty had a huge impact on your family it seems.
Good luck with the sleep. I'm tempted to take something tonight. I'm seriously exhausted but way way too awake. Silly annoying head 😕
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I know the feeling @CheerBear Very annoying I just take sleep meds For now. Will have a break sometime.
My doc that left said its ok to take them every night but have a break The different doc said oh no only maybe once or twice a week. What the heck. I'm going to find another doc. Nighty night 😴💟💕
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I went to bed last night with a post about being super alone and very sad. I could feel it bubbling away as the night went on and by the time I got to bed I had a huge lump in my throat and my eyes were pouring. My bed seemed way too big for me, and usually I love my big bed and being in it on my own. I wanted to be a walnut but have someone else be the hard shell for the night. There's so much pressure doing this on my own and sometimes it's a heavy load and I want to share it. There's too many big decisions to make and paths to choose to walk, and last night I really wanted someone to be there who would walk them with me.
@Phoenix_Rising - I went past the wave and imagined myself quietly going into a cave and sleeping there for the night. I told myself lots of times that even though there was no-one here next to me, there are always people here in forumland. I'm very thankful that I have here to remind me there's always someone around, here/there/not-here.
Lots on in the next couple of days starting with an appointment this morning. Some of it is fun and some is annoying but I'll just take it one little hour at a time and hope one day it won't have to be like this as often.
Hope you all have a good day and there's a moment (or many) of something nice in it.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
ethSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning @CheerBear Consider yourself 'scooped up' . Hope today improves for you.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you @eth💗
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning, @CheerBear, hugs. Sounds like you managed to get some sleep after doing some imagination work to settle yourself. Way to go. It's totally understandable that you felt alone and unsupported in RL. It's not an easy path being a single mum. My mum was effectively a single mum (when my dad wasn't around) for long periods of time during my childhood in the 60s. I saw most of what went through, as it was just her and me during those times, and I marvel at what a tower of strength she was, despite falling into depressions and being out of control at times. I believe your children will admire your strength too when they are old enough to understand. Sending more strength your way for your busy times over the next couple of days.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
ethSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I was single throughout my adult child's childhood too @CheerBear. Solidarity. We can talk about it if you want to.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @Mazarita💗 'Tower of strength' - I love that you can feel that way though it seems it wasn't always great. Thank you for sharing.
Mazarita and @eth - I've been doing this on my own now for longer than not and most of the time it's ok, better than ok. I suppose we all have our limits though and sometimes mine are reached, particularly when there's so much happening like there has been here for this last while. I really hope they look back as adults and see that I tried my hardest and did the best I could.
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.