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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm ok too @CheerBear. Had 5 hrs sleep which is better than nothing. Being awake at this hour is common for me. I get a busy brain too and it's better for me not to just lie there with circling thoughts. At least we get to see dawn which I do like. The moon and venus are beautiful tonight.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm up early usually but super (pre-5am) is usually because of a busy brain for me too (I like that way of describing it) @eth. It's a bit of a sign things aren't great for me, but I find it much better to accept that I'm too 'busy' to sleep and then sit and watch the sunrise too. I love the peace and quiet of the early mornings. My bird buddies should be starting to wake up soon.

I can't see anything in the sky except clouds this morning but it's not as cold as usual and I think that's because of them, so I like the clouds this morning 😉

Have you got plans today?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

No plans today @CheerBear. I had hoped to go to a cooking group but can't get transport. They've stopped doing it at the centre since I last went.

I started rising before dawn when my child was young and it's stuck with me for many years. Sometimes it's the only way we get some peace time as a parent.

Do you have plans for today?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I thought cooking group was yesterday, or maybe that was someone else? Sorry if you've mentioned that - sometimes I get my days/people jumbled up.

I think my love of early mornings began with babies too @eth. It's been my chance to prepare myself for the chaos that is mornings with little people. You have adult kids now yeah?

I have counselling today and that's about it I think. It's online so no need to go out which I love. I'm also waiting on some new crochet hooks which should arrive today or tomorrow so that's exciting.

Other than my appointment I think I'll take it easy today. Drawing, preparing for a virtual party - that kind of thing.

Do you have any hobbies?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear there are 2 different cooking groups at different centres. Cooking is a part-time hobby for me. I crochet too. Working on a purple scarf at the moment. I read, a little gardening and just started swimming again.

Hope your ap't is good for you.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning, @CheerBear, @eth, saw both of you lovely people were here and thought I'd drop in and say hi.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

They're great hobbies @eth. Love purple and crochet together 🙂

Thanks. I hope your day is good for you. It's nice bumping in to you. Thanks for the company 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Mazarita 🙂

My bird friends have just started waking up and the traffic is still quiet enough to enjoy them. How's your morning? Have you been up long?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, still pretty dark here and no bird sounds yet. I've been up for about an hour. C works very early on Wednesdays and was up at 4am, which woke me as it often does.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @Mazarita How is the morning for you today? Did you get a reasonable sleep?

Love hearing the birds start too @CheerBear - but not yet where I am.

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