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Something’s not right

I have Failed

katoSenior Contributor

I have Failed

I will start this with an apology to all my friends i have here on the forum

I have already failed in trying to stay off the dreaded path, it took a few drinks and then a few more and before i knew it i was out and scored, been on a three day bender and now i am poor, went wild for awhile and felt no pain. How am i so stupid! How am i ever going to get on the right track, the right damn path, if days after my first D and A counselling session i do this??? How do i go to my next session???

I hate what i am

i hate who i am

I Hate ME!

Sorry i don't know what to do, I have another D and A session in a few days followed by a psychiatrist appointment, i don't want to go to either anymore, i don't want to have to admit to them that i failed

I just don't know how to Change

39 replies

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In response to: I have Failed

katoSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

Hi @eth

I actually ended up borrowing the money from my parent's to cover the psychiatrist bill..... so i owe them back, unfortunately, for me, i find it difficult to find a psychiatrist i actually like, it tends to be trial and error, i do have a list of recomendations from my psych, but none bulk bill, they are all private practice, which given i will be seeing a lot of them in the future, say 4 times a year, i will be rather choosy on who i see, i ran in to a psych who bulk billed but he didn't gel with me, i am hoping to gel with another psych in the future.

My meds have been adjusted tho and they are now playing havoc with me, again. i have to be careful about driving currently, as my co-ordination and reflex time is dulled, i actually ran a red turn arrow today, thankfully, no cars coming, but i am feeling better then i have been which is nice.

Good to hear you are doing well also, good days are definately good days

In response to: I have Failed

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

Yea what happens when you just cant get up
karen

In response to: Re: I have Failed

SCORPIONSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

When you think I cant you won't but stop for a second take a few deep breaths and say im stronger than this I can I will and take one more go we are all allowed some doubt but dont you deserve another go.
scorpion

In response to: I have Failed

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

Noi I've wasted my life I have been brought to my knees ang the weight on my shoulders is crippling me. I can't get up. Too pathetic and weak

In response to: Re: I have Failed

SCORPIONSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

No life is a waste all have value please call and talk to someone. I am worried about you.
Scorpion

In response to: I have Failed

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

Not worth helping

In response to: Re: I have Failed

SCORPIONSenior Contributor

Re: I have Failed

No such thing you are as unique and of as important as anyone on the planet. Call and speak to someone they will tell u the same . Take a moment and breathe image some tranquil quite place that makes you feel warm and safe. Look after youself we care about you.
scorpion

In response to: I have Failed

beanboyCasual Contributor

Re: I have Failed

Dear @hiddenite

As previous friends on here have indicated you have come such a long way. Be really proud of your achievenments and keep striving forward. One day at a time one step at a time. We are proud of you and we have great faith in your capacity to thrive.

The next appointments are close, be honest they wont judge you and in the mean time remember there are other services to help if you feel you just cant cope any longer.

1) Contact an organisation who can help you while you're in the midst of feeling like this -

Lifeline 13 11 14 or online crisis chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

000 Emergency Services if you feel like you're at immediate risk

2) We also have a great discussion called 'coping box' which contains lists of distractions that other members use when they are going through a tough time. Perhaps you can use this list or make your own?

3) Keep on reaching out here in the Forums. While we don't offer professional counselling or crisis support, there are others who have been in a similar situation to you and I'm sure can relate to you

Best wishes, beanboy

In response to: Re: I have Failed

Unknown userMember

Re: I have Failed

😢

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