Grieving the loss of a child- How Mum's and Dad's grieve differently

This is a topic that I can't seem to find much information on. How Mum's and Dad's grieve differently when a child dies.

After the death of our only child (son) two plus years ago, I seem to be slowly putting my life back together. My husband on the other hand, just wants to wallow in pity(have everyone feel sorry for him) and wait to die. I know he is in real pain, but he will not get help. He says that no one can help him as he only wants one thing. To have our son back in our physical life.

It really is two different journey's and I am wondering where the compromise will end of being I have crawled out of the dark pit of doom, and do not want to go back there. I go out and visit friends and do things to make me feel alive. My husband stays home night after night, drinking away his sorrows. I have spoken to his GP but like he said, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Just wondering if anyone has any ideas to share of how they survived in their marriage.