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Something’s not right

Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

AtalantaSenior Contributor

Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

How do you stop thinking about these? For the last couple of months but especially the last three weeks, I have been a danger to myself. Either I am thinking about suiciding or I am actually self-harming as compensation for not suiciding or out of frustration and self-hate. I've had a couple of days here and there where it's not too bad and one day where I actually felt like I was recovering, good, but the rest have been a nightmare. I'm exhausted. I'm always on the edge, like it's one argument or bad event which will end me. It's like being dragged by a strong current into suicide. What can I do? How do you make it stop?

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In response to: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

AtalantaSenior Contributor

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

@Former-Member...boy, do I know what you mean! Family dynamics can definitely do your head in.

In response to: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

AtalantaSenior Contributor

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

@PhoenixRising... it's an excellent question. The alternative is to walk away, but I have no money to make a move and I suffer from anxiety so it's impossibly hard.

The right way would be for my sister and I to force mum to move in with my sister, while we fix and sell the house, buy elsewhere and mum can move back in with me but she refuses to do this and her fragility is such that if we push her too much it may bring on a heart attack.

I've run so many scenarios in my head...lol, you want to adopt them?

In response to: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

AtalantaSenior Contributor

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Thanks for letting me vent guys. Good night. 💓

In response to: Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Unknown userMember

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Yes I have had trouble with family all my life,I have to live in flight mode to avoid them due to past history.Went for my walk for my depression and for my time and they drove past me,caused massive attack and distress.Took me a long time to realise there was a lack of respect and now I have had well known mental illness partly due to their treatment I felt when they drove past they were walking on my grave and because I have lost everything I felt they enjoy my humiliation .The emotional pain I am sick of.

In response to: Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Unknown userMember

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Yes I have had trouble with family all my life,I have to live in flight mode to avoid them due to past history.Went for my walk for my depression and for my time and they drove past me,caused massive attack and distress.Took me a long time to realise there was a lack of respect and now I have had well known mental illness partly due to their treatment I felt when they drove past they were walking on my grave and because I have lost everything I felt they enjoy my humiliation .The emotional pain I am sick of.

In response to: Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Unknown userMember

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Yes I have had trouble with family all my life,I have to live in flight mode to avoid them due to past history.Went for my walk for my depression and for my time and they drove past me,caused massive attack and distress.Took me a long time to realise there was a lack of respect and now I have had well known mental illness partly due to their treatment I felt when they drove past they were walking on my grave and because I have lost everything I felt they enjoy my humiliation .The emotional pain gets me really low.

In response to: Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Unknown userMember

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Yes I have had trouble with family all my life,I have to live in flight mode to avoid them due to past history.Went for my walk for my depression and for my time and they drove past me,caused massive attack and distress.Took me a long time to realise there was a lack of respect and now I have had well known mental illness partly due to their treatment I felt when they drove past they were walking on my grave and because I have lost everything I felt they enjoy my humiliation .The emotional pain gets me down.

In response to: Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

@Atalanta Do I want to adopt your family? Hmmmm...gee...let me think about that one...ok, thought about it, NOPE!!!

It sounds like you are super stuck at the moment. If it's your mum's house then I guess the options are, as you say, to stay in the situation or walk away. Your mum certainly has the right to live in her own home for as long as she wants to. It sounds like your current predicament will change at some point in the future though. It sounds like your mum is quite elderly and frail so it is reasonable to assume the situation will change at some point. I guess that's the problem with using suicide as a solution - it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Goodnight @Atalanta. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you.

In response to: Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

No worries. @Atalanta Not offended, just conversing. Its a sticky situation, just thought it helps to tease it out a bit.

Yeah I have had the fear of doing saying anything for possible heart attack with my mother.

She pulled that one on me for 20 years. Eventually died of lung cancer. Heart strong as an ox. But cant presume about your case ...

In response to: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

mandy84Senior Contributor

Re: Can't stop thinking self-harm/suicide.

Hope its OK to post here, just relate to your family troubles, makes life so hard I know, were not wired for isolation, supportive family would be nice. At least we know we are not alone.
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