FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Events and updates

New member

KazzlCasual Contributor

New member

Hi everyone, I'm Kaz. I've just joined the forum and am not sure where to start. I've probably missed it, but is there a new members thread or somesuch? Or does everyone post their own new topic? Any suggestions on where to start / how to join in welcome!
As background, I am a long-time sufferer of depression. I self- medicated with alcohol for many years until I became a full-on alcoholic, but I have now been sober for nearly 4 years. I feel I have alcohol under control but my mental health is still wobbly and I'm going through a rough time at the moment. After some very dark days I've decided to try applying the 'one day at a time' approach that got me sober to managing my depression and anxiety. Would love to share with some fellow travellers.
So glad to have found this forum.

34 replies

21 - 30 of 34
1234

In response to: New member

CatloverCasual Contributor

Re: New member

He does and he doesn't. I know he loves me and he cares for me but he doesn't understand what it is like. He will not read any literature on my illness and when I have an episode he tends to just let me get on with it. He can't deal with my extreme and confusing emotions. Mind you neither can I, they frighten me.

In response to: Re: New member

IngaSenior Contributor

Re: New member

@Catlover

Hey Hun...

May I ask how old you are.. I have a reason for this..

I do not want to scare you-but : My husband, abusive in a certain way ( who left much to be desiresd ) left due to my illness.. when I was feeling bad he too totally ignored me...

My second husband abused me ... I left him..

Did you move from overseas???

namaste-Ingrid...

Talk again soon...

In response to: Re: New member

CatloverCasual Contributor

Re: New member

I'm 50 next week. We moved from England to New Zealand 15 years ago and we moved here in December.

In response to: Re: New member

pipSenior Contributor

Re: New member

@Catlover. You and hubby are definitely in a catch 22 situation. You find it hard to describe something you don't understand, he can't figure out where you are emotionally. Possibly he refuses to read any literature, because that would make it more real to him. While he doesn't read anything, it's easier to pretend to ignore it. When you have your episode, he becomes the 'ostrich' because that way, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't know how to do, what to do. Do you know how to care for yourself? I think if you can visit your Dr and see if there's a support group in your area. Often when you're talking to someone with the same illness, they can give you ideas you haven't tried or thought about. Also if you can find a support group, you will get the invites for coffee/socializing that you don't have now. Once hubby sees you getting support and he sees how to support you, he could start helping you more. Trying to explain any sort of MI to someone who has no idea what you're talking about, is like trying to teach a foreign language. I am in the final stages of radiation for breast cancer, through talking to others at the clinic I attend, the support has been tremendous. My ex has no idea, he like your hubby wouldn't have a clue as to how to support me. Perhaps, though unlike my ex, your hubby just needs to be shown. Reading literature can be confusing too, to someone who doesn't fully understand what they're reading. Like assembling furniture, 'x' joins 'y' The problem being where is 'x' and how does it join 'y'? No offense to either of you, but quite often that's the dilemma, trying to explain how and why and what to do.

In response to: Re: New member

CatloverCasual Contributor

Re: New member

Thank you Pip, that helps. I have not registered with a dr yet, I will do it next week.

In response to: Re: New member

IngaSenior Contributor

Re: New member

@Catlover

Hey Cat.. Do oyu have cats?? do you have children??

Re: age... I am 63 yrs young....before I get ahead (elaborate ) of myself-are you taking hormones... I meant to ask you in last message...

I do massive research to find help for myself... When did your condition first manifest-need help for..

I personally have not found a group in my area..at the moment I am too ill to look for a group..

namaste-Inga

In response to: Re: New member

IngaSenior Contributor

Re: New member

@Catlover

Hey Cat....

can you write something like what I have just composed..Talking/telling a person is hard.. handing him a written note and asking please read it, he just may...

It may not help, but at least you tried.. it is so simple he may just get it........

Love - Inga

.....................................................................

Everyone on earth -including you-has a brain containing neurotransmitters which govern our whole body….Some people are born physically handicapped or mentally handicapped, blind, no hearing etc.

Some of us are born with the transmitters not sending the right signals for the brain to function as to what is considered "normal"…Instead of sending the signal to the right place, it sends it no-where.. This disrupts how one feels.. It is bloody awful.. I want to tear my brain out, give it a kick and tell it to send the right signals…

BUT I CANNOT…no more than a handicapped person can tell himself to be 'normal'…

Please just love me.. When I am feeling crappy, please just put your arm around me and tell me you are with me…offer me a cup of tea-just something……

You do not understand-you cannot unless you have experienced it- but a simple gesture stops me feeling so alone and unloved…

Please know I do not do it on purpose..

In response to: Re: New member

CatloverCasual Contributor

Re: New member

Hi Ingall yes I have cats, my cats know when I'm not feeling right and they love me, I mean they push themselves into my space and make me fee

safe, or at least there like I exist.

In response to: Re: New member

CatloverCasual Contributor

Re: New member

Yes Ingall

I know what you mean about tearing my brain out but it doesn't work cos you still exist after

In response to: Re: New member

IngaSenior Contributor

Re: New member

@Catlover

Tearing our brain, was part of the letter to your husband I wrote, in case you wish to use it to give to your husband..

namaste-Inga

21 - 30 of 34
1234

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

SANE is a public company limited by guarantee and registered tax-exempt charity with DGR (Deductible Gift Recipient) status.

Charity ABN 92 006 533 606. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible. SANE, PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053.