Trying to find an avenue of study.

Dear @sara

It's so good to hear you are having a better day. Did you by any chance get in touch with Safe Futures? I ask because (if as I think) they are in your area then not only could they help with dealing with your own issues, and you are very wise to see the need to work on the painful baggage abuse leaves anyone, but also there might be some opportunity for doing volunteer work and further study to help you get into that field.

It is wonderful that you want to support others through this.

Hiss boo about all those who have been spouting "wifely duties" rubbish to you. A friend recently went to a new psych and, thankfully she had her long-term MH nurse with her, when she mentioned SA in her marriage the psych had the gall to ask "How can that be, he was your husband?" Does anyone one have a spare piece of 4"x2"? I might be able to explain it to him, arrogant ignorant sod! Sorry, rant over.

I've just finished reading a little book I bought in Warby ($12) called For My Sisters, A light at the end of the tunnel for those in domestic violence. I found it quite helpful simply because she was very real about the whole thing without going into explicit detail which might be triggering. It's not very long but quite affirming even when one's own journey has been rather different.

Earlier this year I had to ask myself a hard question: when you have sex not because you want to but because it is the way to stop the emotional abuse then what do you call that? I don't have an answer yet, but it's not good.

Take care of you my friend. You are doing so well.

Hope for a safe future for one's family endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

Hey @sara

Have you thought about calling 1800 RESPECT and asking them what kind of training their counsellors have? They are all specialists in intimate partner violence so they may have specialised training they have to undertake.

I once attended a presentation by Settlement Services about a safe house they run for women who have been freed from slavery. A lot of it is financial slavery. Women being tricked into coming to Australia, relinquishing their passports and being told they owe huge amounts of money for their travel and have to work it off in horrible conditions for tiny amounts of money. Of course, it also includes sexual slavery where women are forced to work as prostitutes to pay off the same kind of fabricated debt.

What was interesting was they said they now have a much higher proportion of women who are escaping sexual slavery marriages. Often arranged but sometimes from daughters being sold, and then they are treated like slaves, kept isolated and repeatedly raped. It was incredibly sad to hear and very shocking.

They might be a good service to make contact with.I know it's not exactly what you're talking about but they may have some good ideas.