Nothing

@Former-Member I haven't been here that long so Im in the "new" grouping. I just wanted to say to you that everything in life cycles, so where you are seeing change now, you'll prbably see some return to what it was, sooner or later probably sooner. So just try to ride out a wave.

even I, who have been here only a few months am looking at it and seeing a jumble. One thread starts and I kind of feel settled, then bam another one. It's almost like there are little pockets appearing all over the place and it feels isolating and disruptive.. I like this thread, it feels inclusive. It feels calm. (Usually).

some others it feels like little gatherings and I feel a "Do not Disturb" sign on the door. I don't think that grows what has obviously been a "family" on here, rather it grows cllans. Perhaps this is what your are feeling. I don't know. But clans break down, so rest assured that more than likely it will pass.

plus both of you have been going through hard patches, so feelings of disruption could be heightened because of that. And it is also human nature to yearn for the familiar, especially in troubled times. This could also accentuate a "lost" feeling.

I was going to walk away from the forums pretty much, because they are making me feel drained, like I am sometimes in the clutches of something invisible that instead of sustaining me is strangling me. I'm unsure if it is because I am changed, or it is the insidious side to collectivism. That being a group of people, especially a group of people where there are strong pulls in several different directions can become conflictive.

anyhow, I know F&H has been almost increasingly busy. I think she's the type of person who likes to stay busy to help her cope. She feels steadier when she has a lot of things going on. Her hubby has been around lately plus she has been over east. Once she gets settled, she's back at home today I understand, she'll probably be around more. The other two you speak of I pretty much don't know, but I guess if they are long termers they will show up again. Some people don't like change, so perhaps they disappeared when they sensed change, but will be back? All I know is all I've seen in outside threads is turbulence. Or at least that's how it makes me feel. I really don't like the feeling and it's been super magnified of late. I hope we all reach calmer waters soon.

Good morning @Spookytookims, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Phoenix_Rising

hoping everyone has a good morning , off to work now

sending you hugs

Hi @Spookytookims,

i can understand what you've written here and I think it's important that you put your thoughts forward. As someone whose been active here for just over 12 months now I have seen some ebbs and flows too. It's a complex little microcosm of life.

There will always be times where we get hurt here. I most certainly have and do on a regular basis. I'm highly sensitive and emotive so it's a given I will. For me I know that the other person almost never knows they've done it or intended to so I let it go. The hardest part for me and others I think has been when conflict arises and is continued as an 'undercurrent' by a member or two sometimes on a different thread. I think that is particularly difficult and hurtful and destabilising.

I know that other times it just gets messy through no ones fault. For me the main thing is that we forgive each other when it happens and move on as soon as we can. I feel a bit messy having this convo here but it's kind of fitting. @Former-Member and I had a misunderstanding where feelings were hurt and she left the forum from a thread that I used to post on. To her credit she came back and is the same gorgeous @Former-Member. It was from a similar situation that you describe although it was never my intention at the time for her feelings to be hurt like it happened. It was a true misunderstanding and me struggling at a time of crisis. I think I learned lessons from that too. I really hope it's ok for you @Former-Member that I write it here. The last thing I want is to hurt you again.

I think from my perspective we find out quite quickly whose support we can rely on and who helps us the most and tend to gravitate to that. It's natural. However I think we also always fear we are in someone else's space to we try to create our own where we hope we don't tread on others toes and feel a bit safer but sometimes it gets just as messy. This is my way of saying I have no idea how it works best.

In the past when social threads have become really busy there are so many cross conversations it sometimes feels too busy or somehow weirdly exclusive too. The forum is ever evolving and changing and its kind of amazing that for a forum kind of based on sensitive people with a great diversity for 99% of the time there is great support and harmony.

In recent conflicts the thing I've learned is that the sooner both parties move on and let it go with the other person the better it is for all concerned. It's ok just to leave the other person alone and not interact with them if there are still hard feelings there, even if that ends up on the same thread but just not directly to each other, and that people just let the issue go and don't bring it up in other conversations once it's over. And often it can be resolved as in lots of cases here I can think of but don't want to name, and those people forgive each other and continue to be friends and support each other. I've been involved in a few in my time and I'm so grateful that we've sorted ot out and moved on remaining friends and continued supporting each other in a caring way. Being highly emotive I tend to get caught up a bit in things too.

I wanted to write this post for a few reasons. One I wanted to validate your feelings around some of the things that are/have happened on the forum. I see it too. I have hope it will work its self out better. Secondly I wanted to say I still don't want you to leave either. I see you having lots of valuable contributions and I love that you think out of the box and respect you for writing things as you see it. I happen to love spooky zaniness too but have struggled in myself to be here much adding to it. Lastly I hope that you can find a place of peace here too. I'm hoping that this post might just help you and others to see things evolve over time and 99% of the time in a positive way and that usually the quicker things are resolved and moved on from the better the outcome usually seems to be.

Wishing you all the very best 💜🤗💐

Again @Former-Member I hope you are with this. I really didn't want to step on your toes but also wanted to have this conversation. I only wish the best for you too. 💜🤗