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Loneliness

Loneliness

In 61, and single. My last son, 22, and his lovely partner, left home two months ago. I live in Australia, but originally come from England. I have no one here. Having been in an abusive marriage for 20 years, I have CPTSD and insomnia. Since they left, I’ve been unbearably lonely. My anxiety is through the roof and I tried, really tried, everything I could think of to manage that, without resorting to anxiety meds again. I ended up getting to the point I wasn’t sleeping and was literally shaking all day long. I’ve started on the meds again, and had completely forgotten that you have to get worse for two weeks, before you see any improvement. I’m not quite a week in yet and I feel like I’m losing the plot. I’m so anxious. I am stuck at home alone, and it’s bloody horrendous. I don’t even know what the point of my post is. If you can think of anything supportive to say, that would be awesome. Thank you 🙏🏼

5 replies

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In response to: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel better soon. I left home and my single 61 year old father 6 years ago. He will never talk to me about his mental health so I don’t know what was going on with him but I’ll never forget driving by my the front window where my bedroom is located and sitting on my bed with his head in his hands after I’d just packed the last of my things and said goodbye.

there are no words for how much I love him and wish him all the peace this world can offer. Everyone talks about how strong a parents love is but a child’s love for their parent is also indescribably strong. I am certain your son feels the same way about you.

I wish I could help more but please know you are tougher than you think and you won’t feel this way forever.

In response to: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

The first couple of weeks of new meds can be really hard, youve just gotta try and stay busy and ride it out. And if you are in need of friends... my pop plays bowls to keep social, maybe you could try that or something like that. All the best, things should get better soon.

In response to: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hi there op and l'm sorry about the situation. At least you can come here and talk it all out anytime you want, hope that helps a bit.

l've always thought moving countries is such a huge thing, even 20yrs after the fact. l suppose it all depends on how a new life shaped in the new country meantime along the way and so that what is there for you later on . l know someone that , well a few actually over the yrs that have moved to different places but this one , she's about your age moved here 10yrs ago, mainly bc her son moved over.

Well, through that time he met someone married they had 2kids and for awhile there it was all great for her that she'd done this butttt- then his new w went weird after the kids went home to Japan to visit her family with the kids and wouldn't come back .

So about 3 yrs back he moved over to Japan to be close to his kids and now she's here with no one, Really sad for her in the way it's all panned out. On her front good news is she is all set up now has a nice little place and a small income and she does like it far more than her old country butttt, she's alone here now to there was no one else, such a shame for her.

She also has major anxiety and other MH problems as well as on top of other things and she's been through some huge stuff. She's tried millions of meds and seeing doctors and counsellors all through.

She says the biggest thing that's helped her is her dancing classes which she really likes , and going to gym which she also really enjoys.

ln her case now not to say for all bc l've heard of others where meds have really helped but in her case, she hasn't really found anything that helps unfortunately or if it has there's been side effects or this or that. As l say though that's not to say it's the same for everyone.

Anyway, just thought it relates and might be of some interest.

All the best.

In response to: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

My problem is financial. We came in 2008, so lost £350,000 on our home in the UK, along with shares that bottomed out in the GFC, as well as the exchange rate going from 38p to 62p…. all at the same time. We really did start off in a muddle here. Then, my now ex took every cent of the divorce settlement and left me with $0. No home, no money, no nothing. I had to start from scratch in my fifties. After 20 years of abuse, I can’t tell you how hard that was. I managed to buy a small home for my son and I, after renting a hovel for two years. I got a great job and was getting by. Then Covid came and I lost my job and became extremely unwell from the abuse, autoimmune diseases etc. I’m now on DSP, which is less than my mortgage. I don’t use the tv, heating, cooling or anything. I spend a teensy amount on food. I don’t have petrol or socialising money. It’s a nightmare. I must wonder fifty times a day if I should end it all. It’s so depressing. he sits there with a house on over 100 acres, and $2 million in super. How he sleeps at night is beyond me. I’m just over the struggle. I need health stuff and can’t afford it. I’m just buggered. I’ve had enough.

In response to: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hello @TheGardener I can't imagine how you got through this and how it is all feeling right now. I do really appreciate your honesty in expressing how you struggle through the day with it all. Please know if you need to talk to someone that there are services like Lifeline - https://www.lifeline.org.au/ or even contacting SANE for some extra support and counselling. You don't have to go through this alone, please speak to someone.

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