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OCD rule breaking help please

queerbuthereCasual Contributor08 Sept 2026, 9:17 pm AEST

OCD rule breaking help please

Hello kind people!

It’s my first time visiting this space but I think you’re a clever bunch and can help me out! I need some advice with a situation that’s happening tomorrow. I have diagnosed but untreated OCD that shapes the way I live (my current Psych is looking for a specialist to treat when I feel ready). I also have BPD and PTSD that are managed relatively well.

I've been under more stress as of late and have support workers to help me with my physical and mental disabilities. The issue at hand is the support worker who will be with me tomorrow. My brain says I cannot work with them anymore or “bad things will happen” - this is the usual consequence of not following a rule. The “bad thing” generally follows breaking a rule and is often something tragic that has happened in a different part of the city/state/country/world. It has, on occasion, been something that affects me directly, but mostly involves the injury or death of multiple people who I have never met.

This is a heavy responsibility to carry and the burden of guilt can send me into an activated/heightened state which leads to crisis. When in crisis my default is suicidal ideation and with the recent added life stressors I am likely to plan and prepare for suicide, with intent on action.

This is scary, and I don’t want to have the situation to escalate to that extent at all. I have not purposely disobeyed a mental rule before without there being a consequence. I am forced to disobey the new rule of not having this particular support worker because otherwise I would go unsupported tomorrow, missing physical therapy appointments which are crucial for my recovery.

Please let me know if you have ANY advice at all of how to best handle this situation. There will be a consequence to having this support worker tomorrow and I don’t think I have the mental fortitude at the moment to receive the knowledge that I have caused something catastrophic in other people’s lives.

Please help me.

Sincerely

queerbuthere [edited by moderator]

2 replies

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In response to: OCD rule breaking help please

JynxModerator08 Sept 2026, 9:35 pm AEST

Re: OCD rule breaking help please

Hi @queerbuthere

First off, just letting you know I've edited out your name from your post - our anonymity guideline asks members not to reveal any part of their real name on the forums. Just so you know!

Feel free to take a look at the guidelines here:

https://saneforums.org/articles/community-guidelines

I'm hearing how much of a pickle you're in! Sounds like going through with having a support worker around may end up with a lot of heavy feelings of guilt, whilst not having the support worker come would disrupt appointments important to recovery.

It sounds like tomorrow might be a difficult day for you, whatever you choose. Is there a way for you to prepare for that possibility and help keep yourself safe if those feelings of guilt do come up? Do you have a safety plan, for instance?

There's a template here you can use if you don't have one already:

https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/safety-planning/beyond-now

Is this something you could also discuss with your support worker, to see if there's a way to ensure you are still able to attend your appointments without risking a 'rule break'?

Just some thoughts. I'm glad you are reaching out to find some support in this, as it sounds heavy to carry and you don't deserve to go it alone.

In response to: OCD rule breaking help please

queerbuthereCasual Contributor09 Sept 2026, 9:21 am AEST

Re: OCD rule breaking help please

Gosh, I’m so sorry about putting my name in, I hadn’t realised that I’d done that. Thank you for fixing this error for me.

Thank you also for your understanding on the gravity of the situation and advice for safety planning. The rule that I will be breaking today is *seeing today’s particular support worker* so I can’t avoid breaking it.

Thank you for the safety plan template, I do have some emotional regulation techniques from having completed a dialectal behavioural therapy course for my BPD. I can definitely populate the template with those skills and apply them after the support worker has left.

I was hoping to find someone who had experience with something similar and see what worked for them, as I haven’t deliberately broken a rule like this before and am particularly fragile as of late.

Thanks again for your response, any help is always appreciated. I shall go through the template now, before my support worker arrives.

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