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Son (22) with schizophrenia

Son (22) with schizophrenia

Living with someone who suffers from schizophrenia is very difficult. Even medicated it seems he lives in a different world and stares a lot whilst smoking cigarettes like a steam train.
Sleeps during the day, spooks around at night.
Any advice about healthy diet, less coffee and smokes, is ignored.
He will never live a productive life.
We've lost family members close to us on the way because of his behaviour and them not understanding mental illness.
Ofcourse I worry about our future.
I need to be single as no other man can live with us.
I need to work full time to provide a roof over our heads and pay the bills. Without me, he'll be homeless, jobless and suicidal as his paranoia would kick in, specially when he thinks the meds are only given to him as he is a guinea pig and 'they' are trying to change his DNA...
I've always wanted children but no one never told me how tough it would be if a mental illness strikes the 'Brady bunch' family image with a thunderbolt.
A medal to anyone who cares for someone suffering mental illness.
They need all the help and support they can get. They deserve better too. Mental illness you don't see from the outside, my son looks like a healthy good looking young man but has no future. Maybe with support and someone pushing him out of his shell but some have tried and given up.
I have given up a marriage and another 7 years old relationship and noe bought a small unit to care for my son, indefinite. We have no other family here as Migrated here in 1987.

My love for my son is very deep and I am so proud of him he went to hospital last year and still takes his depot shot every month. However, I feel anxious and worry all the time. He has applied for DSP (disability pension) but he tells me if he gets rejected, and 'they' want him to work, he will stop the depot needle. It takes his motivation and energy away, He knows he can't work 8-5pm, neither with or without meds.
My good sense of humour is slowly fading but where there's life, there's hope, right?
Thanks for reading my story.

470 replies

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In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

@Grasshopper3 good evening

I vaguely remember my time in the local hospital. I had a few admissions there in the early days of my diagnosis and return from the mental Institute in the city. I was only on oral medication at that stage. And I was in denial about my condition. I didn't take oral medication seriously. I had no life. My life had fallen apart. It's funny how I see things when I look back on them. It's very vague and sketchy. I think different about it now.

Hospital was like respite for me. A safe place. People who cared. Three square meals a day. A place to recover. Any form of social structure in my life wasn't there. I was still mucking around with street drugs. I had no income. I was lonely. I was grieving.

I didn't like hospital. But it was a better option than staying where I was living. I think the majority of hospital stays were in the eighteen months after returning from the Institute.

Now days, Every now and again I'll go up there for support. Because I'm basically overwhelmed and riddled with stress. Have lost all hope. And I'm tired and fed up of my life. Have no support or wrong support. . But I've learned what happens... They do a safety analysis check. A risk of harm assessment. U Get asked 'what do you want us to do? Or how can we help?' get offered a oral tablet to take with me... I usually just get tired of the situation and say I want to go home. I'm more prone to visiting the A&E during stressful times of the year. Anniversaries. Yearly events. Christmas. New years. Easter. Birthdays and so on. Or after heavy drinking or recreational drug use.

Eude

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Quick wave @Grasshopper3

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

@eudemonism@Sophia1@Former-Member@Shaz51@patientpatient@Libra@Faith-and-Hope@Barbara@perseverer

Thanks for your messages wow doesnt this Sane update look fancy haha

Yeah Eud, it is a safe place and I'm glad you're going there when you feel unwell.

(I sometimes even envy the patients in there, getting fed good meals, roof above their head, nice warm clean bed, plenty of showers if you wish.... but then I remember the reason why people are there, and I hope that they have this support outside of the hospital too. The chaos on the mind is an every day battle and I respect people surrendering themselves to the care of others to get better.)

My son is still in there, has come home for few hours over the weekend to crash on the couch after his Snubway, which is his favorite takeaway!

There still hasn't been a meeting and the nurse said it's unknown if he's ok to go home tomorrow. There will be another blood test tomorrow, I guess after that's been checked they probably know more.

He likes the fact he gets drugged at night and sleeps well. He can't wait for his meds.

I have decided to go on a diet for a solid two weeks, I would like to fit into my clothes a bit better so.... keep you all posted.

Hey Sophia1, always on my mind, how are you feeling? Have you heard anymore news from you son? Last time I read he was also in hospital? Give you younger son a big cuddle, he needs to be loved too.

Sleep well,

Grasshopper3

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Thanks. Your son is in good hands they are not hurrying to push him out of the door..I am of to sleep will respond more son
Love sophia💜💚♥️

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

hello @Grasshopper3

How is your son feeling now?

I imagine that the medication is still not working to it's full potential....some taking a couple of months to gain full effect and even then depends on the individual...

all of this on top of your son's existing symptoms makes it so much harder for him...

You will read of this on the lived experience forums where people try then stop the medication as they cannot cope with the added load of side effects on top of their being pushed to the limit with their own symptoms...

I have the greatest of admiration for every single person walking down this path....again nature of symptoms and times occurring...recurring different for all..

I hope that he has at least received some answers from the psychiatrist...

If this factor is still upsetting him...are you able to push the psychiatrist yourself? or have you been down this path already..?

even if the answer is that they still are unsure about the results and cannot give a definite response....any response stating that would be helpful...demonstrating that you and your son are important....you both matter and need to be heard...

If he is still in hospital ...he is in the best place where he can be monitored whilst still taking this new medication...hard to hear and even harder for your son to grasp...

Have you been able to do anything for you without feeling guilty whilst your son is in hospital? So hard to leave them and turn off the feelings...put them aside ....I know that feeling...

We do have to look after ourselves though...so easy to lose sight of this....

In the whole scale of things one day off doing something for you is minimal in time...

As you realised I have a new user name...I needed to do this as I now call "my family member" .....I needed to respect him...his rights...

he is a very intelligent person and is following through with his rights....he has received information as a result of his request from "the freedom of information" office of various organisations...

I still hear from him at random times...always when I am very upset or unwell....each time I was in hospital...on one occasion during an emergency visit which led to me being admitted and staying overnight to see a specialist there the following day...the only person who knew of this was my husband...I received a call from "my family member" who had so many questions and concerns about my health...fearing that I had been poisoned with radiation and other chemicals etc..

He is so tuned in with me...it is incredible...He was in hospital for a few weeks and now is out...

So I don't talk too much about this member of family on here...just in my own therapy...I cannot risk him finding these forums and adding up all of the information ....he will know...

Thank you for asking though grasshopper.....every day is a new day isn't it..

sending you both love...a huge hug and a heart give him an extra hug from me....please keep on writing on here xx

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Thinking of you @Grasshopper3 and @Sophia1

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

@Sophia1@Former-Member

i often think what to do or say if my son finds out his story made public by the only person he trusts.... I understand this is the reason you have stopped your story about him!

I have found another website: 'www.Aftercare.com.au' which is also using our SANE-forum.

Here I found my own story again, and I wonder how many other websites are linked to SANE?

It is a worry and it has also stopped me in my tracks!

Hope your enjoying bike riding in your own home, at least that is safe!

Lots of love,

Grasshopper3

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Hello @Grasshopper3

yes I understand your shock...

the same thing happened to me before..I was researching schizophrenia..redirected to different services..there on the side of one of the websites were lived experience and carers forums posts..

That was not my main reason for stopping..

"my family member" has requested all information through hospitals..triage teams via freedom of information...

I realised then that is his right..

I still write very openly about myself..

You can still find away to continue writing...from your perspective.

I hope that he is more comfortable than he was and has received some answers..

writing about your own feelings with a more generalised reference to family member..

keep in touch whatever you decide..

even if you choose to start another thread..

take care

In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

So sorry for everyone, brought tears to my eyes. MI is hell for everyone. Have been dealing with my son's illness since he was in his late teens and he is now nearly 56. As you can imagine I can relate to most of the experiences people are having or have had. As he was born with mild brain damage which become Sz I feel I have been doing this all my adult life since I was 21. I would love a normal life before I die, I am 77. I feel as though I am in a cocoon and just want to break out and be free of it. Not going to happen. Am very isolated and no family who want to know or help. After all these years all I can contribute is that at the end of each day I try to find one thing or more that went well for me and I dwell on this for awhile and feel good or better. Today it was finding a supplier so that I could get some Almond spread because the previous one shut down. I have IBS courtesy I am sure of MI in my life.

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Morning @Vanro and welcome to the forums .....

Its that crazy mix between loving someone but not loving their condition, right ?

One of mine was born with intellectual and physical disability, but the mi issues we have encountered in different family members across time have left that one in the shade ......

Anxiety, stress and situational depression seems to hit the gastep-intestinal system pretty hard. I ended up with metabolic syndrome which I am still trying to reduce the effects of, and I also found it affected respiratory and immune systems as well.

The thing is, the mi issues belong to all of us, whether it’s an internal or external experience of it, and there is a strong feeling of being in it together here.

I am glad you found us .... 💐💕

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