Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Living with someone who suffers from schizophrenia is very difficult. Even medicated it seems he lives in a different world and stares a lot whilst smoking cigarettes like a steam train. Sleeps during the day, spooks around at night. Any advice about healthy diet, less coffee and smokes, is ignored. He will never live a productive life. We've lost family members close to us on the way because of his behaviour and them not understanding mental illness. Ofcourse I worry about our future. I need to be single as no other man can live with us. I need to work full time to provide a roof over our heads and pay the bills. Without me, he'll be homeless, jobless and suicidal as his paranoia would kick in, specially when he thinks the meds are only given to him as he is a guinea pig and 'they' are trying to change his DNA... I've always wanted children but no one never told me how tough it would be if a mental illness strikes the 'Brady bunch' family image with a thunderbolt. A medal to anyone who cares for someone suffering mental illness. They need all the help and support they can get. They deserve better too. Mental illness you don't see from the outside, my son looks like a healthy good looking young man but has no future. Maybe with support and someone pushing him out of his shell but some have tried and given up. I have given up a marriage and another 7 years old relationship and noe bought a small unit to care for my son, indefinite. We have no other family here as Migrated here in 1987.
My love for my son is very deep and I am so proud of him he went to hospital last year and still takes his depot shot every month. However, I feel anxious and worry all the time. He has applied for DSP (disability pension) but he tells me if he gets rejected, and 'they' want him to work, he will stop the depot needle. It takes his motivation and energy away, He knows he can't work 8-5pm, neither with or without meds. My good sense of humour is slowly fading but where there's life, there's hope, right? Thanks for reading my story.
Hi @Grasshopper3@Former-Member@patientpatient Checking in on you today.
In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Unknown userMember
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
hello @Former-Member
all quiet on the homefront re contact from my son.
non stop messages alerting me of imminent dangers and how to protect myself have gone quiet for 2 days.
I thought I would look around the website and have found myself one here for hours now.
In fact the last post I read and responded to has drained me but I just felt I had to reply. I cant help myself reaching out to young males who are in need of help. I feel that in a roundabout way I am helping my son.
crying now so going to take a break from here.
hope things are better with Mr Darcy I know you had some concerns. You look after you Mrs Darcy, you are such a caring soul with a glint in your eye no doubt, loving your sense of humour xxx
In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Unknown userMember
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Hey @Former-Member keep that self care happening... @Grasshopper3 haven't read through your posts fully but was hoping to see if your son had been successful with DSP or if it was still in progress.
In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
patientpatientSenior Contributor
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Hi @Former-Member,
We're managing a medication change at the moment. The anti-psychotic med that my son has been on for many years had become much less effective. Increased doses weren't helping and side effects have always been a major problem. So it's a slow reduction in one med at the same time as something new is introduced. Another anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med is also being increased. He wasn't managing all that well; very unsettled, sleep pattern changed (up at night - 2am, 4am), overwhelmed by thoughts and ideas. While all this is happening, Centrelink staff have decided he should go back to the job agency and look for part-time work. From a carer's perspective, I'm tired and anxious most of the time. I read the forum regularly and also see a psychologist, both are very helpful.
In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Unknown userMember
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
@patientpatient Changing meds can be difficult, I guess there would be a good 2 month cross over period. Hard to keep self care happening at these times of transition, but can I gently encourage you...I know when things are pending even a long overdue haircut for myself can seem out of the realm of possibilities... Mr Darcy is in need of one now and was quite happy about getting it done but has a bee in his bonnet today and has changed his mind (I cut his for him). C'est la vie ...
In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
patientpatientSenior Contributor
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
@Former-Member
Yes, planning is difficult, even for something small. We can be out the door and just about to get in the car... and the plan changes. In the end, most of the plans aren't so vital and can wait for another day. It used to bother me a lot but now I generally go with the flow. I hope that a suitable haircut opportunity presents itself reasonably soon.
In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Unknown userMember
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
I go with the flow too @patientpatient, there are things that are not worth stressing over.
In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Grasshopper3Senior Contributor
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Hi @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @patientpatient, I have spend many hours too, on this sane forum. Learning, looking for advice, help, anything to make things better for us. I too, go with the flow. My son has had a phone conversation with someone from Centre link, and appearantly he will be reviewed next year. So it looks he's still on NewStart allowance which pays for his smokes and an occasional Subway. I am very lucky he's gone to the new mental health facility in our new area. He liked the young nurse and he said for first time he's looking forward to his next shot, so he gets to see her again. He has also indicated to a male clinical nurse he wants to keep every thing at this new clinic. He liked him as well as he wasn't writing all down but actually listening. I have seen a psychologist, and told her I want my 'mojo' back. I don't know about you guys, but it's still not easy living with someone that suffers from SZ. Eventhough medicated, there still the messy bedroom. Hasn't washed his sheets for 2 months, shoots his boogers onto the wall whilst having a shower and pees outside in a potplant. I can see the plant struggling and chuck water over it in the morning but I think to myself maybe if the plant dies, he realises to pee inside, in toilet 😕
There is an organisation here called Grow. It's a peer supported group of people with MI and they are forming friendships and showing new members the ropes. I'm warming him up to attend a meeting, to see what it's like. He said he doesn't want for sit with mentally sick people. I'm telling him he could teach others of what he knows, they could learn from him. I keep trying till he goes. He has no friends or immediate family apart from me. I told the clinical nurse I will be needing respite soon. My parents are getting frail and I might have to fly home to look after the one left behind etc and my son will need help He referred me to Richmond Fellowship, and Carers WA and he said he could also pop in once a week if my son was left home by himself. I told him I'm taking him with me this trip in June. Anyway today I woke my son up at 12:30pm and it took him an hour and a few coffees to wake up. I had heard him say earlier this week he wanted some new shirts, I asked him how much he wanted to spend? He said he just been paid by Centre link and saved up $50! My son and saving?? YES!! I said I had seen some nice shirts at Good Sammy's and his money would go to good course at same time. We had an hour in there - in and out the fitting rooms we had next to each other, giving each other feedback. Then I shouted him to a subway (he loves subway) and went for our evening walk then home to watch a movie. I'm now still typing away in my bed and it's 1:00AM. I can hear him still in the lounge room and I guess he won't sleep for another few hours. He always amazes me. When on our walk he told me it felt good to have the psychotic episode. I asked him what was so good. He didn't know. I said did you like the way you thought? He replied yeah and how far he could go (?) I said did you also now I was really really worried about him? He said you shouldn't be. This is completely different to what he told me last year when I saw him in hospital and the bits and pieces I got out of him in the weeks after. I hope never to have to go through that again, he was living a nightmare. He told me about cannibalism and sacrificing children and he knew where they were buried and.... Now he's casually telling me he thought it was fun! I tell ya, you gotta be pretty special to be a mum of a SZ man! Good night and take care 🌷
In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia
Unknown userMember
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
@Grasshopper3
My husband attends Grow, where we are it is a small group of older patients, he struggles with having a mental illness but will go religiously. I will clarify that he has a working diagnosis of bipolar ii with a differential of insidious onset schizophrenia; I am not sure which will be right but he accepts the current Dx and is med compliant (includes antipsychotic tabs) and does self medicate. His psychotic episode was non bizarre, more delusional and came with depression but he has gone missing a couple of times in what was thought to possibly be psychosis. In the Dx mix has been major depression, OCD, anxiety disorder, panic disorder and personality disorder. He has late onset diagnosis, was in his 40s when things started to deteriorate and is now 56. Things going into crisis when he was 47 and major crisis at 52, things are only just settling now but I don't think his meds are quite right yet.
With regard to your pot plant ... in the event of persistent 'watering' can I suggest getting a lemon ... they are known to thrive on this but would still need extra water to dilute it.
Darcy
In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
patientpatientSenior Contributor
Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia
@Grasshopper3@Former-Member@Former-Member
I'm not sure how I could deal with bizarre behaviour like that. My son would be categorised non-bizarre and delusional although no one has ever explained it in those terms. He also has OCD and anxiety which are treated with anti-depressants. Routines are important for us, just little routines and the general structure of the day. Early on, for example, he "had to" exercise twice a day for an hour or two each time. These days the routines are based around the computer, going out for coffee and lunch, going straight home afterwards and things like that. Established routines do change, he's no longer swimming and used to swim three times a week. He's very isolated socially and I provide company (I've been out of work for a while and at home all the time). He occasionally reaches out to past friends but the attempts are sporadic and often ignored. He's still recovering from a relapse that happened a year ago. Paranoia increased after that episode and I have to keep a close watch on him in shopping centres because he feels threatened and looks overly alert... which attracts unwanted attention... which increases his paranoia. Thanks for posting about Grow, I'll look into it.
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
