@patientpatient@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@eudemonism@Appleblossom@Former-Member@Shaz51 and many more ....
Happy Easter everyone!
To continue with my story I must tell you life is pretty good at the moment living with my son.
We have started to socialize more, I keep pushing him little by little to meet people.
Taking it day by day. Trying not to think about our future. His new Psych has given him new meds on top of his monthly depot and that seems to work, as he falls asleep much better now and less dopey during the day.
I was so proud of him when we went to QLD. My daughter surprised us. She didn't get engaged but got married! She said she didn't want to worry me too much as I already have enough on my plate, so she didnt tell anyone. It was such a relaxed country wedding! just gorgeous, wish you could see our photo's!
People came from all over Oz, including Uncle and Aunty we havent seen for long time.
My son got up and gave them a hug, saying he hasnt seen them for a while. I did the same.
We repeated this for the four days they were in QLD. We saw them off at the airport too.
There was not a lot said though. We both felt we got ignored most of the time. The Aunty cried a lot during the wedding party. It seems they are dealing with a lot of stuff themselves.
I have had long talks with my son, he is still adamant he does not want a relationship with them, looking at how they behaved towards him. He says he has nothing in common with them.
I feel they are grumpy with me too, now they dont see me anymore. I know I am still welcome there, but I have tried in the past going there without my son (as he not welcome). It just doesnt feel right. I went there for birthdays, xmas, and I feel my time off is better spent with him. My son just hasnt got any social skills to start conversations with anyone, so while I'm at work, he's on his own. If I spent my time off somewhere else, he will be on his own even more. I have tried inviting them to our new place, but they refuse, they don't want 'any trouble'....
My son and I have been living together in our villa for a year now. I felt becoming more and more isolated and pretty lonely. I was dealing with a 7 yr old relationship breakup too and overseas parents with major healthissues, working full time saving up for our trips, paying mortgage and bills that come with it.
So my New Years resolution was too socialize a bit more, where ever i can. I have been inviting good friends over, one in particular who takes my son for volunteering jobs with the Salvo's.
I also have good neighbours that pop in once in a while for a cuppa or a glass of wine.
I am more on the phone at night too, I have my phone on loudspeaker so my son can join in whenever he wants (mainly overseas family or his sister in QLD).
We have also contact with my sons nanna again, who we now visit regular. My son hears a lot about his dad in his younger years and its almost like he is fitting missing pieces in a puzzle.
Nanna tried to help him (her son = my sons dad) after we divorced but she nearly ended up with a heart attack from his abuse. She now understands why we broke up. It is impossible to live with the man.
He now lives in the Philippines, where he is treated like a King, so he says. We have very rarely contact with him.
There is also someone 'special' in my life again, someone I met 9 years ago and we have met up again.
He is trained in dealing with Mental Health issues, and my son and him get along, although my son still doesnt know what to say to him when I leave the room, so try to avoid leaving them together....
We have organised to go on a camping trip, he will take his 3 kids plus his daughters boyfriend, and I will take my son. This is a courageous thing to do, both on my son's and on my friends part.
Fingers X it all goes well and we have a relaxing time with all of us....We can swim and use kayaks and quad bike if we get it going, so there's plenty to do.
Then next week..... flying out to see my folks, so happy my mum made it. She will turn 75, and cannot wait to hug her again. My dad will pick us up from the airport, which is a big ask as he also has healthissues but you can't stop him!
I get teary just thinking about them, we have so little time left and the distance is such torture for us.
Meanwhile, my son is still the same, smoking a lot, drinking cups of coffee (decaf) and drinking beers whenever he can. He has written 5 pages about how he is a mind control victim, and they (Govt, Police, Military) are out to get them as he knows about the 'birth certificate fraud'.
It is his reality and i have listened him reading it out to me a few times now. I encourage him to write it down, to read it out, to keep it so he can read it back some other time.
After we come back from our overseas trip in May, he will try to change his meds again, a hospital stay will be required.
I'm not trying to think about it now. I can feel my heart hurting already.
Thanks for reading my story guys, I hope you get something out of it, my way of helping other carers as this is the toughest job I have ever done.
Lots of love,
Grasshopper3
