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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Complexities of experiences

Complexities of experiences

Hi all,

I have experienced a lot of trauma in childhood and adult life from family, friends and strangers.

I have support in place, but I have realised today how much grief I have. How much sadness, loss and grief I have for the loss of choice, control, childhood, support, and safety.

The grief feels never-ending. The loss of myself is so clear today.

Making choices, decisions, and expressing a want or need feel terrifying.

I am constantly hypervigilant and cannot fully relax.

I feel such an intense pain around how things could have been "if only".

Does anyone have advice, or can they share how they have processed the grief, self-discovery, or finding safety in themselves again? I feel I don't trust my brain or body. If anyone has felt similar, please let me know.

12 replies

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In response to: Complexities of experiences

Re: Complexities of experiences

Hi there, I can't really relate to the things you wrote, the feelings, the fear I carnt control myself, but am really looking for ways to at least ease these things. I don't expect things will ever leave me be, but I hope with help I can make it at least bearable. Prob sounds a bit silly, but I found a few new bands on Facebook, it makes me feel somewhat not as fucked up as my mind seems because other people can put in words how I feel, how just dam angry I get about so many things. I hope you can find something to ease you

In response to: Complexities of experiences

Re: Complexities of experiences

Hey there @Findmomentum, how’s your day been?

I am glad the bilateral stimulation has been helpful. Are you still doing it or taking a break?

Regulation and monitoring regulation definitely has its challenges right. I have learnt a lot I think about what is needed for the different types of states your in which is something I didn’t know before. Kind of just thought you had a box of skills you select and that was your skills/ strategies every time you were dysregulated- but it really matters where you are outside which side of the window of tolerance and what strategies are best. Ha I hope makes sense! Let me know if it doesn’t and I can rewrite 😜

I have to say I have been literally living under my weighted blanket lately. Who would have thought something like that would bring such relief. I definitely wouldn’t have thought it!

What’s in for the rest of your week ahead? ☺️

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