Riding a wave

I really like your openness to such possibilities @Phoenix_Rising

Feeling hopful that your theory plays out well. Sounds like you've been reviewing past experiences and trying to adjust the right parts to make it work for you. Really hope you feel a connection with them over time, new relationships can be icky to start.

How's your day been?

I've taken a walk in rain (yes, I got caught in the rain without my umbrella) ate delicious sushi and have warmed myself up with cups of tea 🙂

Here is another one @Phoenix_Rising Sorry I have not been around much today, been so busy! But thinking of you and hoping the seas are nice and calm this evening

Ooooo yes, I did think that too @Phoenix_Rising but you see I get a tad excited when I can show affection, although @Former-Member looks pretty sleepy there, her squeeze would hopefully be loosening 🙂

I'll float past and say hi tomorrow, so happy to be here with you 🙂

Awwww, thanks for finding a moment to appear @Former-Member, although @Former-Member did an admirable job of passing on a hug by proxy.

Are you around this evening @Former-Member or are you about to disappear? I have had an ok day, though not as productive as I would have liked. I went on an adventure to the city yesterday and I really noticed how much it lifted my mood having a reason to get up in the morning. It reinforced to me how much employment is ultimately the key to me moving beyond my muddle. My lack of employment post-uni is the major driver of the depression and I so very VERY badly wish I could get some support in this area.

I hope you are warm and dry now after your walk in the rain. I am not a fan of sushi. I braved it once...and that was enough. Anyway, don't you know, FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!

I do hope therapist-take-eleven is a good match. I won't be giving her a LOT of time to prove herself due to my extremely limited financial and emotional resources. I think knowing that (A) will stay until I find someone else is really helping to make this attempt less distressing than the past ten. Even though (A) and I both know she can't actually help me, I do super like her and knowing there is SOMEONE there, puts me in a better position than I have been to-date with the nightmare of therapist shopping.

@Former-Member I am guessing you have signed off for the day now, but that you will read this tomorrow. You get a tad excited when you can show affection? Ok...that is good to know...because I was starting to contemplate whether as I get to know you better, you might make it onto my safe touching list. I think you just set that plan back several...er...millenia.

Loveeee your pictures @Former-Member, @Former-Member

Hello @Phoenix_Rising

Good night Forum Land. @Former-Member I'm super missing NikNik. I know she is going to come back super soon, but somehow her being away is making the missing-CherryBomb feelings giant again. I really do super miss CherryBomb SUCH a lot. And then the missing-CherryBomb feelings trigger the missing-the-bazillion-people-that-have-walked-out-of-my-world feelings. I am so super glad that everyone is here in Forum Land...but it is still super SUPER hard that there isn't anyone in my world here in Sydney.

@CheerBear I am going to snuggle in your pocket tonight. It's ok if I wear my duck socks in there isn't it? Super big thank you for being my not-friend. Night.

I am super super super struggling with giant missing-a-bazillion-people feelings and also feelings of hopelessness around trying to find someone to help me fix my brain. I really don't feel confident that therapist-take-eleven is going to be a good match. As soon as she answered the phone last week, a red flag went up in my brain. This was because she answered the phone with "hello?" I mean seriously, who does that in a professional setting? I had no idea if I'd called the wrong number or if I was speaking with a receptionist. It was super disconcerting. I told my GP about it yesterday and she agreed that she felt exactly the same when she called her. It immediately makes me question the psychologist's professionalism.

How can it be this damn hard to find a decent psychologist??? Right now I feel angry at the entire mental health system (with the exception of extra special people like @Former-Member @Former-Member ). The term "recovery model" gets thrown around, and yet when push-comes-to-shove, no-one seems to truly believe that people CAN recover from some types of MH issues. "Recovery" seems to be equated with "coping."

It seems that even though the word "recovery" is used, a lot of people seem to be condemned to the idea that they just need to keep using their "coping strategies" day after day as the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and the months into years. What is the point of that? What is the point of surviving one day, only to struggle to survive the next? That's not "recovery," that's existing.

Trauma is FIXABLE. People can HEAL from it. Really and truly HEAL. So why the hell do the vast majority of MH professionals want to just focus on coping skills and distress tolerance skills? Why not actually get in and HEAL the stuff that the person is trying to cope with and tolerate???

Today I want to sit down and revise the document that I have handed to every therapist I have seen over the past 18 months. I need to update it and make it as comprehensive as possible so that I don't need to actually tell the story to therapist-take-eleven. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be expending my extremely limited energy on trying to find someone to help me. It shouldn't be this hard. Good psychologists should not be this few and far between!!!!!