Riding a wave

Here beside you - snorkle and all. Sure, I'm not yellow in this picture... but I promise it's me!!!

☔️🐢 .... @Phoenix_Rising

Thank you, @Phoenix_Rising. That means more to me than I can say. I so wish this was a safe space. Surviving is really very hard.

How can we change our negative core beliefs when the message we are constantly receiving from everywhere is that we are worth so much less than others and that our experiences are not valid? (Rhetorical, obviously.)

And why do “helping” people and spaces perpetuate stigma? (Sorry to sook.)

Thank you, @Phoenix_Rising. I truly cannot thank you enough for being you. 🌷🐢 (If we ever figure out this cloning business, I think we should clone you, too … the world would be a much better place with more super great sea turtles.)

I’m sorry the world is so backwards and so very muddled and muddle-causing. You deserve so much better. I’m glad TTT had a cancellation so you can see her sooner. Alone is hard when the muddles are so big.

P.S. Hi @CheerBear. Sorry today was an extra-tough one. Thank you for being you, too. 💚 (And yep, I’m popping you in the cloning machine as well).

Hi @Former-Member,

I am really sad to hear that Forum Land still feels unsafe for you. I know how very very important a sense of safety is.

I so very badly wish I could clone TTT for you. I feel bad talking about her awesomeness, although as @CheerBear said, maybe it can give that glimmer of hope that there ARE helpful helping people out there - they are just painfully few and far between and thus you generally need to go through quite a few brain-mushing ones before you find a good one.

I know you asked your question rhetorically. I have the same question. I have no idea how my current not-of-my-choosing adventure can be playing out in the way that it is. I do believe in the fundamental goodness of the people involved, but seriously, on what planet could it ever be ok to ask me to do something that was in the best interests of the person who caused harm while causing further distress to me??? What possible thought process could have led them to make that request of me??? I know they are now trying to think up another solution, but nothing in the world can ever change the fact that they put the wellbeing of the one who caused me harm ahead of my wellbeing. Nothing can ever ever change that. So no, I don't have the slightest idea how we can change our negative core beliefs when the message we are constantly receiving from everywhere is that we are worth so much less than others. The only way I can make meaning out of it @Former-Member is in knowing that it is only because I have experienced what I have experienced, that I can truly hear you and others in similar positions, without needing to know.

As for cloning me, @Former-Member, given I seem to have a great talent for causing utter chaos wherever I go, methinks there would be a lot of people who would shudder at the mere thought of there being more than one of me! Now @CheerBear on the other hand, yes we could definitely clone CheerBear. Then when one of her ended up wandering around pyramids when she got lost on her way to the corner store, we could just produce another one of her!

My sad is so so big and dark and heavy, @Phoenix_Rising. But I love hearing about TTT and how awesome she is. Please don’t ever feel bad for talking about her awesomeness. It really does give me hope that helpful helping people actually do exist. It really does help me to not give up entirely. And I feel so relieved/glad/happy for you because I know how much potential there is for the two of you to make real unmuddling/healing progress and what that could/would/will mean for you.

The thought of one @CheerBear trying to help another CheerBear become un-lost made me smile. 🦄🦄🐐 Then I thought about one little sea turtle helping another little sea turtle find the right suburb and that made me smile, too. 🐢🐢 I’m definitely sticking with my plan to clone you. 😊

You and @CheerBear and @Zoe7 are the only reasons I haven’t left Forum Land entirely. The place is shaky, the rules are shaky, and I feel so ‘othered’ and invalidated in real life that I don’t need it here (where my ‘otherness’ and lived experience should mean inclusion). I am so grateful for the connections I do feel here, so it makes me even more sad that I can’t really be here.

P.S. I was reading about therapeutic parenting on the website you posted the link to the other day and it made me cry (in a ‘yes! this!’ kind of way). I’m trying really really hard to believe that healing is possible and that I will be able to find a helpful helping person to help me. The things you share (info and experiences/thoughts/feelings) are so validating. Thank you, @Phoenix_Rising.

P.P.S. Your current not-of-your-choosing adventure is so very not okay and I am so sorry it happened/is happening to you. I’m so sorry someone thought it was in any way a good idea.

@Former-Member I am heading off to bed now but super quickly...

I totally hear you about the shakiness. It is superly duperly tricky, but I know a lot of work is going on behind the scenes to de-shake the shakiness.

I'm super glad you found the stuff on therapeutic parenting helpful. Healing IS possible bookish...it's just super hard finding the right helping person. I know the therapeutic parenting thing is what TTT is doing with me and I know that it can work.

I know you are familiar with schema therapy. It involves "limited reparenting." Are you familiar with that aspect of it?

Good night bookish. Thank you for validating the not-ok-ness of my current adventure. I so badly wish I could share TTT with you.