Riding a wave

Super big thank you for bringing some party food out to me on the ocean @Maggie, and super big thank you for bringing me the turtle equivalent of flowers @Former-Member.

@Faith-and-Hope I feel SO yuck. I am in utter crisis. This has been building and building and building for THREE WEEKS. How could this possibly be? And how can it be that all my pleas for help have gone unanswered, but when someone with the letters "Dr." before her name calls, she gets an assurance that something will happen today. Why why why? Of course, whether or not something WILL happen and whether or not that something will be helpful or whether it will cause more harm, is yet to be seen. But at least she got a RESPONSE!!! I am invisible, I am worthless, I am voiceless, I am powerless, I do not matter.

@Phoenix_Rising Shedding a tear with you and listening. You are not invisible online, as mad as that might sound. Swimming with you.

@CheerBear I feel so bad about not being able to be at your party. I so very badly want to be...but I've got absolutely nothing in me right now except a gigantic flood of icky trauma-related stuff.

I super understand about having to stay on my pause button re. the Forum Land muddle, until NikNik gets home. What I don't understand is why I haven't been able to get any help to unmuddle the phone muddle. That has absolutely nothing to do with NikNik. I so badly need help to process through what happened on that call and I don't have the slightest idea why that help hasn't been forthcoming.

I also have no idea why that post got deleted last night. I didn't get an email about it or anything, it simply vanished. It was definitely the final straw in terms of confirming my sense of being silenced and thrown away as collateral damage...so very VERY much like what happened all those years ago. I am invisible, I am worthless, I am voiceless, I am powerless, I do not matter.

I am also very glad to see you, @Phoenix_Rising. The world makes me so so sad. I’m so sorry, @Phoenix_Rising.

Here and listening @Phoenix_Rising , me too , sitting with you

Thank you @Former-Member @CheerBear @Shaz51,

Those with power lack understanding, and those with understanding lack power. That is why the lived experience is SUPPOSED to be valued - to help bring those with power and those with understanding together for the mutual benefit of all. In this instance something has gone terribly terribly terribly wrong.