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Something’s not right

Riding a wave

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor22 Mar 2017, 11:35 am AEDT

Riding a wave

Hi all,

@CherryBomb, @Former-Member or any other @Former-Member floating around Forum Land, will you ride a wave with me? I thought I would be fine doing something...but it turns out that the something has made my big feelings BIG and now I'm in a pickle...and there's nothing worse than a pickled turtle! I'm going to go and snuggle in my bed so I probably won't actually respond to you, but it will still super help me to know that I am not utterly alone on the wave. I don't want to tag anyone else because I don't want anyone to feel they need to respond. Thank you in advance for riding with me.

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In response to: Riding a wave

Zoe7Senior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:38 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

'calmed' is a good start @Phoenix_Rising - but yes I can hear you are still scared

In response to: Riding a wave

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:41 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

In response to: Re: Riding a wave

Zoe7Senior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:47 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

While you ride the wave @Phoenix_Rising I am going to snuggle far in the back of the Secret Comfy Cave at the back of the Underwater Cave - waaaaay down at the bottom of the ocean...

In response to: Re: Riding a wave

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:50 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

I super badly want CherryBomb. I so very very VERY badly want her here right now. Nothing like this would ever have happened when she was watching over Forum Land. I want NikNik. I want Lauz.

My whole attachment system has evaporated to near-nothing @CheerBear and @Zoe7. I don't feel anything for anybody except you guys. I like other people in Forum Land, but I don't FEEL anything. There is so much muddle that I don't talk about here in Forum Land. So much that I only talk about with my turtle whisperer and some of which I've shared with super safe people in the HC. Thus to suddenly be told that I can't expect those people to appear in Forum Land in a supportive way, is utterly utterly bewildering. It makes no sense at all. I really really really wish NikNik wasn't away and I so very VERY badly wish Cherrybomb was around. I feel so lost and bewildered and confused.

In response to: Re: Riding a wave

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

I really really really want to die right now. I'm getting super strong memories of my birthday party and how super connected and cared about I felt that day. It was that day that I knew I would keep living after P died. But if all those relationships have evaporated, then I have nothing @CheerBear @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Riding a wave

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

@Former-Member This is a gigantic category 5 storm, but even category 5 storms pass. Maybe you should snuggle into the inner sanctum of the underwater cave while the storm rages.

I don't normally bring this level of chaos to Forum Land. That is why I called the HC - to avoid this very situation. But after they hung up on me, I had nowhere else to go but here.

In response to: Re: Riding a wave

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:57 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

I super super super wish you were here @CheerBear. I so very very badly need to SPEAK to someone. It would help so much.

In response to: Re: Riding a wave

Zoe7Senior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:57 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

I have no idea how hard this is for you @Phoenix_Rising - I can only 'guess' and go on what I know and understand for myself. I get that there are things that you don't share here - there is a hell of a lot that I can't either - and have not shared with ANYONE. There are some things in our lives that are too horrific to share (even with ourselves as that is when we really do feel like ending it all). Without knowing any details (and I definitely don't need to) I can say that I understand how deep and pervading your muddle is.

just a little reminder here for you little turtle...

In response to: Riding a wave

CheerBearSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:57 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

I know it feels like that right now and I know that having many of those relationships change is seriously hard. Like almost impossibly hard. I get that. Some of those relationships have not and some of us are still here and still the same as we were before (maybe aside from the fact that I actually like you more every day) and I can only speak for myself but I still plan on being here tomorrow and not changing (aside from learning more and liking you more) @Phoenix_Rising.

It doesn't make it better, I know that. And it sucks and hurts and is painful and I wish it wasn't so hard.

In response to: Riding a wave

CheerBearSenior Contributor09 Nov 2017, 8:59 pm AEDT

Re: Riding a wave

I so so super so badly hugely massively enormously wish I was there right now too @Phoenix_Rising.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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