Riding a wave

well they shouldnt have done that, stupid people..

what about the sane hotline?

@Phoenix_Rising ... for your shell...

@Former-Member I did call the sane hotline this morning and that super helped. The day has been ok until I went for that walk and then I don't know what the hell happened.

@Zoe7 Thank you for the super glue. I will fix up my shell and bunker down in this underwater cave for the night.

@Former-Member Yep, this is a major part of my puzzle, and I have to say, I was encouraged when I posted about it here on the forums and discovered I'm not the only one who gets hung up on. It's because I am super chaotic when I'm dysregulated. That's what I like about the forums - I can be stimming and crying and still communicate with you guys. That doesn't work so well on the phone and the counsellors on the crisis lines don't seem to understand the concept of riding out the big feelings or helping with slow breathing and stuff. They just tell me to calm down (telling me to calm down doesn't help me calm down!!!) and then they say something like "I'll have to end the call if you can't calm down"...which triggers all the abandonment stuff on top of the muddle I was already calling about, so then I stim and cry more, and then they hang up. That's why I don't call them. And before anyone asks, yes I have tried lifeline's online chat, but it was like talking to a robot.

I can't watch you ride the waves atm @Phoenix_Rising because I've slipped into the rock pool and I'm trying to keep my head above the water - might need to borrow some of those floaties I brought along for just such an occasion

Phoenix can you make yourself a cup of tea for now?

Hey @Phoenix_Rising - After deciding I was the little boat, not on a little boat, I got swept out of the calm harbour, into the sea and hit a whirlpool. I set off my flares and luckily they were seen by the other boats hanging around before I sunk to unretrievable depths. But I am under and have now turned into a very sea sick submarine. I have been cruising the ocean for a little while and it's not feeling as dark and scary the more I do. It's not ideal, but sometimes things aren't ideal (like sunk boats, broken shells and incredibly unhelpful helplines) which doesn't feel good.

I can't stay because I have been avoiding bumping in to too many sea creatures (am not even sure why I logged on), but I wanted to remind you of something that you reminded me of today - that on top of the ocean, riding the waves, under the surface, or on the shore, the track record for all of us here is 100% and that's about perfect, even when it feels like nothing else is going right.

Hope your shell is repaired soon and you're where you're want to be asap. Might bump into you again on our journeys.

From someone else who thinks you're awesome

@Former-Member

@Zoe7 It is absolutely totally fine. I'm just going to bunker down in this underwater cave with @Baboo here. Thanks for the super glue @Zoe7. I'm sure that will fix my shell up just fine and I'll be back in the octagonal room in no time. You just focus on keeping your head above water so that you can look after my corner in the octagonal room until I can get there. I'm a sea turtle with a 100% success rate of surviving every single day living with BPD. I've got this. You've got a 100% success rate too - you can do this.