My story

Honestly @tyme , I'm also neurodivergent with a long history of trauma and probably some cptsd in there somewhere. Highs and lows are part and parcel for me. Personally though it's mostly about managing expectations, routines, keeping a healthy body(sleep, nutrition and exercise are everything), and I try to work my mind as well (reading, writing, learning in general). For me personally, I've just had another great reset on my life, so my only focus right now is my morning routine. I have a list. On that list is waking up, actually getting up, having some water, moving (whether a quick workout or just walking out my bedroom door, whichever I can handle at the time), eating something (even half a slice of bread with some pb is better than nothing), wash (whether that's a shower and the full course or just wetting my face), sit without screens for a little bit in some sunlight, read something (even just one line if that's all I can manage), and finding something tiny and insignificant to complete for the day to get a sense of achievement. Sometimes just leaving the house or picking up that one sock I've been avoiding for too long is enough, other times I'll clean the whole house. Depends on my state (managing expectations). I can often get side tracked and overthink myself into analysis paralysis, so one small thing is enough to keep grounded and realistic. That also sets up a success spiral (it's much easier to keep going once you've already started).

Not to get too deep, but spirituality and philosophy have helped me heaps. Thinkers like Aristotle and Plato asked things like 'what is goodness' and 'what is worth existing for' and came up with some really great answers. Stoic philosophy has been great for me personally. One idea in particular is just understanding what things are actually in your control and what things you have no control over. Can help with almost everything. Just developing a deeper understanding of your own self before everything else is huge. If you can understand each of your emotions(e.g anger, sadness) and what triggers them, you can then figure out if the trigger is something you can (or should) do anything about or not. Someone cuts you off in traffic and flips the bird, what can you do about it? Not much that will actually achieve anything worthwhile, so probably not worth ruining your day over. That kind of stuff. No need to read dense and boring old tomes dug out from the back of a library, there's plenty of youtube videos and websites, though reading will always be king if you can manage. Alan Watts is great too btw.

That's enough outta me for now, past my bedtime. Nature is also good for keeping grounded.

Have you or anyone else got any worthy strategies for coping with existence? Would love to hear. Look forward to having something to read in the morning 🙂

@Ollie2026

Any lyrics you'd feel up for sharing? No pressure, but definitely welcome

Of course . Maybe not tonight but during the week @Mr_Be but have songs on YouTube [Moderator Edit].

@Mr_Be wow your story really really confirms it for me - thanks for sharing

I had a support worker (i'm an ndis participant) who told me she had BPD, and afterwards she was ashaemd, she said, "Now you know i have it," and thought maybe i wouldn't want to work with her anymore.

Not only did I not care i felt - who doesn't have a dx of bpd? She was a trauma survivor as well and a complex young woman, so you can so easily get that diagnoses. I've also been given it by ppl who saw me once, or in the ED, because i had multiple presentations and they didn't know what to do with me.

I know some ppl get properly assessed, but how many ppl just get that dx from a judgemental psych or gp because of a complex or trauma presentation?

hey @Ollie2026 if you identify with and have the dx i fully believe you, don't mind me 🙂 Just made me reflect recently as i've been thinking a lot about bpd and joining some bpd facebook groups. Do u feel the diagnoses fits you?

i'm sorry you have trauma, it is so hard to deal with sometimes trauma.
My trauma shows up a bit in ocd, insomnia, and poor self care. I don't know much about BPD. I have never had a friend with it, although in hospital some ppl shared they had the diagnoses. I have the fear of abandonment in it, for sure, not sure if you experience that also?

I find relationships very transactional, and always think the other person will leave if I am not easy or friendly all the time, ro that i'll b e too serious or depressing. As a kid i was always smiling, even when i was crying inside.

@EternalFlower I understand there’s a lot of things we sometimes feel may not even be real cause I guess someone just puts a label on us so we don’t feel like we are just weird I don’t know.

but yes it certainly fits me! I have pretty much everything BPD people have, I struggle with abandonment I recently had a friendship stop for whatever reason and I gave that person everything you know! So it’s very tough and it takes a long time to feel better bout things!.

I don’t know what I can really share here but I have seen things no human should ever have to see!

hey @Ollie2026 have you heard that referred to as "splitting"? I've just been learning about it

i do very bpd things sometimes, so i'm not sure why i don't have it, but i was assessed by an expert in the field and a clinical director of a BPD specialised treatment program as not having it.

One thing I do, is I block ppl a lot. Do u do that?

I cut ppl off who upset me, because its the last option left after being hurt by them so much.

Yeah right well that’s exactly what I do actually ! yeah if people don’t respect me then why should I give them the time of day you know, I have been used a lot and blocked many people, @EternalFlower

@EternalFlower @Mr_Be @tyme

hey guys this is a song I wrote

en I open the doors to where I was always meant to be,
I look to my right and can’t believe what I see.
I see a mirror of me, with darkness all around,
Unsure what to say or do, so I just look to the ground.
My eyes are wide open, and my mind will be set free!

Where do you go when you have no hope,
And you feel nowhere feels like home?
What do you say when things are blue and grey?
Maybe I should just leave,
But then again, I think I’ll stay.

Where do you go when you have no hope,
And you feel nowhere feels like home?
What do you say when things are blue and grey?
Maybe I should just leave,
But then again, I think I’ll stay.

My heart aches every day.
I really need someone to hold my hand
And let me know everything will be okay.
All my dreams are on the edge of a cliff,
Not sure if they will be erased,
Or if I will get a second chance
To become the best I can be.

Where do you go when you have no hope,
And you feel nowhere feels like home?
What do you say when things are blue and grey?
Maybe I should just leave,
But then again, I think I’ll stay.

Where do you go when you have no hope,
And you feel nowhere feels like home?
What do you say when things are blue and grey?
Maybe I should just leave,
But then again, I think I’ll stay.

Take my hand, set me free,
Tell me why it can no longer be.

Take my hand, set me free,
Tell me why it can no longer be.

Where do you go when you have no hope,
And you feel nowhere feels like home?
What do you say when things are blue and grey?
Maybe I should just leave,
But then again, I think I’ll stay.

@Ollie2026 @Mr_Be @nomoresilance99 this stanza has me in tears - very beautiful - Where do you go when you have no hope,
And you feel nowhere feels like home?
What do you say when things are blue and grey?
Maybe I should just leave,
But then again, I think I’ll stay.

thanks for sharing