CorroboreeFrogCasual Contributor
Introfromme
Hi.
I'm 58 and still recovering from what I believe is CPTSD. It's been a long journey of self-discovery since late-diagnosed autism and a deep dive into trauma recovery.
I estranged myself from my caregiver-perpetrator around 8 years ago. Wider implications meant that I also lost contact with my adult daughter (and others).
Amazingly, the birth of her daughter (my first grandchild) has enabled some positive outcomes. I have recently regained contact with my daughter. We are careful to be respectful and mindful of trust.
My granddaughter's first birthday is fast approaching and I was beginning to feel old anxieties return. Attending events with all family present, means being in the same room as my abuser. Do I go, or don't I?
Thanks to some scrolling, I found Sophie and Jess's "Nothing was ever your fault" blog post. The fear of contact hasn't diminished and I've done enough work on toxic relationships to understand it is absolutely necessary to avoid people (family included) if they are not safe to be around.
Reading Sophie and Jess's post actually encouraged me to take action.
1. I declined the invitation to join with all family - I have learned I don't need to provide long-winded excuses or justification. 2. I joined SANE forums. I'm hoping to build friendships with others who understand the shame, anxiety, hypervigilance or isolation, and who are also striving for post-traumatic flourishing.
