DeterminedSenior Contributor
Caring for a life partner when there is no emotional connection.
Sooo
This is sort of a take 2 of a post t did a couple of weeks ago and deleted because it turned into a whinge fest and over share.
I have been trying to find a way to articulate this without it being a whinge, over the past couple of weeks I have read a number of stories that have helped with this.
So, in part just talking out loud to get it out, but also wonder how others approach this. I don't think there is actually any right or easy answer.
I support my wife of 26 years who lives with BpD and various other MI related diagnosis. Things are going ok right now relative to where we have been in the past. But doing ok takes enough pressure off to highlight just how not ok we are. There is little or no emotional connection in our relationship.
I am expected to always be emotionally and practically available. But get little in return. That sounds terrible but don't know how else to describe it.
I am an emotional person. I long to connect with the people I care about. But lacking that connection. And finding it hard to differentiate between unwilling and genuinely unable. There was a discussion on a different thread around the impact medication has on this.
It is hard being lonely in a house full of people, but being alone and lonely scares me more. Despite that leaving has never been an option and never will be, I made a commitment for better or worse, I just need to reconcile how to achieve that.
At the moment it feels like Darling puts up with me because she needs me.
Oldest child told his mother he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Quick to call me though when he needs something.
Second son is trying hard to get along after months of conflict and tension.
Little person at least is please to see me each day.
