narcissistic abuse and discard

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can see I. Your writing how much strength it has taken for you to step away and choose your own well-being after 30 years.

That "cycle" you mention is exhausting, but

realizing it exists is such a massive first step.

I wanted to offer a slightly different perspective from my own life, don’t know if it will help out but anyway 🍀

I’ve been a witness to two very different sides of mental health diagnoses right here in my life. On one hand, I have an ex-husband (my best friend) who was diagnosed with schizophrenia and married in 2012, and while his illness eventually changed - and I had to go , he truly "owns" his mental health. He sees a therapist, stays on top of his diagnosis, and

because of that we’ve remained close friends even now that I’ve remarried. A few years ago when we were married I joined Sane forum - bit embarrassed about that time ……

However ……..

I have a mother with BPD and narcissistic diagnosis diagnosed by professionals I’ve consulted.

What your writing - you’re describing are so real—seeing that behavior directed at you is really tough. May years ago at 19 years old I went to bed for about 5 days after seeing you and scream and cry. Only after I married my last husband

( lol which number ?? ) he brought this to attention to me so I had Trauma therapy.

What I’ve learned is that while a diagnosis can be a "nightmare," it doesn't have to be if there is help and a willingness to engage with it. Seeing my best friend take responsibility for his health showed me what is possible, which made the contrast with my mother’s behavior even clearer.

It is a lot to carry, and like you said, it feels like a storm. But you aren't alone in navigating these complicated family dynamics. Sending you a lot of strength as you continue your healing—it sounds like you are doing the hard, necessary work to find your peace.

@JB83 @SaltwaterSoul @TommyTom @Nw @AnnoyedSheDevil

Hearing you @JB83 . Sounds so hard. Please know you are not alone.

@SaltwaterSoul thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your pain. Wishing you love on your journey of healing.

Your right, your not alone and finally neither am i. I'm thankful i finally have a safe place with people who understand. I have just officially been diagnosed with C-PTSD, PTSD and BPD, it's overwhelming but i know what I'm facing, i can work on healing and building a quality of life.

@PeppyPatti

Thank you, of course, I always appreciate hearing your stories, and I really value you sharing them. It definitely helps to hear about others’ experiences. It wasn’t easy for me to comment on this post, but I felt it was important to let @JB83 know that we’re here and that you’re not alone. I really understand that sense of isolation and loneliness especially when things start to become clear. It can feel overwhelming, almost surreal, like everything shifts at once. For me, knowing that others have gone through something similar brings a sense of hope in some way, and that’s why I wanted to share a little bit of my own experience as well.

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and I’m really glad your ex-husband chose to get help. that’s such a positive step. Well done. I spent many years encouraging my dad, who passed away a few years ago, to seek help for his depression. He did try for a while, and things seemed to improve, but unfortunately he stopped and turned to other substances. So, I really admire that your ex is doing this for himself. I do wish my dad had kept going, I really miss him. He was loving and caring during the good periods. Very different to my mum, I'm not saying he was perfect..but he did show me some love. 💛

I’m truly sorry about your mum as well, and thank you for helping me feel less alone. I really mean that. I know I might be repeating myself (umm probably about 100 times), but for a long time I truly thought it was just me, it was my own fault, and I believed that I was the problem. I do wish I had understood things a lot earlier in my life, thinking that I would be less damaged today. But I’m on this journey now, and I’m working towards a better, longer, and healthier life

Thank you all. 🙏

@Case-Ahn-13 @tyme @TommyTom

Passing by to check how you are @JB83

Also, hello @SaltwaterSoul @Case-Ahn-13 @PeppyPatti @TommyTom .

I've had BPD/CPTSD for so long now - but I still remember the darkest periods. It hasn't been easy. @Case-Ahn-13 At least things are so much better for me now. But it hasn't been without tears.

Tell yourself it's not your fault. Borderlines do what they can to survive in an often cruel world. It takes a long time to learn to trust yourself and the world again. I know this first hand.

We are here to support each other.

How is your day today?

Also, I usually respond to tags by looking at notifications from my email or up the top right hand where there is that bell. The number next to the bell shows you the number of notifications you have.

Hope this helps you to navigate the forums a bit more. @Case-Ahn-13