Depressed with my situation, later 50s

Thx v much Tunedin.

But oh yeah l know where l'd prefer but it's 4x dearer than here and l just couldn't manage it. Also couldn't handle starting all over again or a new mortgage and everything else involved,

l wish.

lf l had the money l'd had been shopping 6mths ago tbh but unfortunately it's down to this place or something not really much better mostly - if l could sell this , bc that's all l could buy with the money from this one, damn.

And thanks for asking tbh, there is a bit of family but l don't wanna lay too much of my troubles on people but not only, there's a lot of MH involved to and most don't get that kind thing l find. l call Lifeline when things get too rough, they're just a beautiful organization , and now l've found this place to so and all this is really helping so thku all too.

On the other hand l do feel a bit guilty as well though bc as some have said, there's so many people out there so worse off atm , at least l have somewhere.

Thku again.

mr.

Thx for all that Tab, very appreciated and helpful.

But nah, as l was saying somewhere, even if l could sell this l couldn't even get something in much of a better spot anyway. The spots l'd actually choose are 3 or 4x this place soooo, just not doable financially but then not mentally in it all and time, in starting over again either.

Funny though people saying to you you can go away and stuff, people have said same to me and it is a point l spose.

Bc the thing about just plonking here is that l'd be then ok financially, it'd change everything , l could do what l want really. Noo bills or mortgage here , just small rates, tank water and solar so yeah l could go away or up to town 3x a wk or buy myself treats , have a little bit in the bank too or whatever.

Spend time building up the property aand making it really nice, it has so much potential.

Could make some lists too like you have.

lt all just goes away automatically if l just stay here, everything.

Except is this depression and unhappiness going to go on , yaknow.

like you said and l've thought a lot about this myself too but maybe the calm comes with acceptance.

Thx again Tab.

That 'comfortable cave' sounds like a real sanctuary, @TAB Having a home you own outright and a plan for the future is a massive achievement. Enjoy the peace!

I do need to de-clutter and re-organise though @PeppyPatti

I've started using lounge room . coffee table way too low to eat . lots wasted space in main bedroom. spare rm never used. laundry full of crap that should be in a shed

about to set latest stereo up in lounge. need to get rid of some chairs , get a desk and something beside kitchen table can eat off also spice racks , hooks for utensils so can get sink and big parts of cupboards back.

Thx for the thoughts and lovely homely pics peppy, it's inspiring you know, it really is.

But Tab, that's the go mate. Get her setup nicely for your castle mate , good for you.

l often on good days see all the things l could do here too and of how nice it could be,

Would that be enough ha, probably , l know l prob should just do it and what will be will be. Except and be grateful .

So l tell myself on good days anyway. All talk 🤔

But, alas. l'm going backwards.

Few days back l decided to start some work that'd need to be done first before l could extend and do anything else. lt'd take about a wk.

lt's also a test bc l'd be outside , looking down over the place and feeling things, the town, any people about across through next doors on the side streets- only part you can see from my place. Just get a vibe in general, a feel.

l'm working where my lounge would go so it'd be all if anything exactly how l'd feel inside later, day in and out living here.

But sadly, it feels the same as it always does and the thought of right there being my lounge and life day in and out, is just down right depressing.

Big problem, l just don't wanna live here, l just don't like it. l've had this place 18yrs but doing anything at all here right through has always felt the same, it's never changed in 18yrs.

lt was only suppose to be an investment never in a million yrs could l have thought of living here.

ldk what the hell to do.

l could probably sell it but it'll no way get enough to buy in a spot l would like they're triple price to here.

Backflip , such is the roller coaster atm.

But, the thought of selling , trying to, and restarting somewhere else, if l could even find something l can afford, makes me puke.

lt's too much after everything else and everything else has been a lot , believe me, can't do t.

Not long after that last neg' post, l started thinking about acceptance, think l need soma that. l think it'd change my crappy attitude hovering underneath.

Soooooo, l've been going on with the job l've started since and l must admit, the 2nd day was better , 3rd even better so far and today almost keen to get out there.

Also took out the extension l drew up an been working on on and off and that l'd be building if l stayed and l must admit, it is feeling better.

Way better than any alternative of trying to sell and fully restarting over somewhere else later whenever that could be bc it'd all take take and a helluva lot of mental energy l don't have atm that is for sure.

Acceptance and just staying put and doing my extension is 50x easier and l could be moving in in a few mths. Bloody hell.

Town may not be my first choice, but it is pretty and so is the property .

Thinking it's time l made do and just be grateful and so far anyway that's all feeling far far better than any alternative.

Sounds like some great progress tab.

Mate, what sort of stereo did you end up getting ?

ldk wth to get now if l do get a newy. All the seem to have are those speaker things.

My old one not so old is a beauty , 15yrs or so it is digital part of you can use your phone or computer music on it with a cord but cds as well.

Doesn't do the blue tooth though.

l love this stereo was a present to myself after my marriage just not sure hth to even play music anymore.

l miss cds and records damn it, this new stuff is so ucked.

Hello @TAB , @PeppyPatti , @Glisten , @tyme , @Jynx

@mrmista

Just a little tip to put a @ In front of members names so they can receive your message and reply back to you

How is everyone going today

@mrmista I don’t think you have a “crappie attitude”.

There is a BIG difference between feeling depressed, and having Depression and anxiety.

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I take medication for it.

I’m outdoors almost all day everyday. In fact I need to be outdoors on working properties, farms, livestock. I like solving environmental problems and preparing paddocks for the next season.

I’m a tactile person, I love working in 40 degree heat, putting my head under cold running water or throwing myself in the horses water trough.

Wind, rain, dust, dirt. Rolling down an embankment - last week. Falling off a wire fence - also last week, stupid fence, this is the only meat sack that get for life.

Being in the right place does matter. But if I owned property, I wouldn’t give a shite about the outside world.

I’d bring the people I like, to my world.