Depressed with my situation, later 50s

l don't know why it hits at night so badly here but man l could count the nights on one hand the few when it hasn't in 6mths.

lt's so bloody weird.

Don't get me wrong l can so appreciate things and ideas Glisten talked about , as well as the situation out there in the world at the moment , l feel it to the core.

Trouble is though, l feel this too , it's so bizarre l've never felt like this , not exactly a nice mental omen must admit.

Tonight l'm feeling as l have 100 times before, that l just can't stay, and l can't do the property ad every time l start to think to hell with it, l will, l'm going for it, l end up back here again.

Today l put pegs in marking out where l'd extend the cabin , l've done plans already. l also took pics of the bottom corner which is down and off to the side and a lovely little corner l could set up with a caravan or like, for someone else, a very cheap renter. Not so much for any money but just to have someone else around and help them at the same time.

There's so much l could do, but everyday this feeling returns and it's like l'm playing games, kidding myself and then it starts hitting me again that l just don't like it here and tbh , l really have no interest in even doing the place.

l've been waiting, waiting, settle in , tides to turn , drawn stuff, put in pegs, done bits and pieces butttt, so far it always comes back to the same.

Hey 👋🏼 @mrmista a Forumland friend of mine @TAB he purchased a house in a little country town.

I think @TAB town might have more amenities, than @mrmista town?

I’m in a little country town 36mins from WA capital city. But the town is not so little anymore. I don’t own the property, I just look after it.

What you’re waiting for @mrmista @is alinement. Something that feels right, in the head and in the body.

Also fear of the unknown can paralyse action.

What are the odds of successfully selling your place while the country is in a fuel crisis?

Yeah, l know, unfortunately.

And that's the thing, when l've gone against this before in such a big thing,l've paid dearly for that later.

Unfortunately too it's more than just an unknown, l've done lots of unknowns but this this is v different, damn it.

Your friends town something like, or yours, would def' be a step up for sure.

l'd think it would sell, might take awhile but pretty sure it'd go eventually.

l'm glad you've got something then atm anyway eh and thx for the support, v appreciated.

Hi @mrmista I've been in a small country town 3 years now. I had ideas for the place.

I bought here because it was what I could afford. I was living in WA but had rental sold on me. I had got into a comfortable rut there when no longer able to work/only able to get work with slave drivers.

Thought if went back to SA would be near siblings or nearer. I dont really see them that often if at all.

Re distance , 45ks is short commute in the country , people drive 60 ks or more to work. its at 110ks not 60.

local town has supermkt, newsagent, bakery,post office, Drs, small hospital, ambulance, chemist , hardware shop and 2 pubs.Town 25mins down the road has woolies, coles, kmart, aldi, think they hate bunnings tho. only just got one 100ks away.

its 2hrs plus to State Capital. there is a bus that passes through, but go there and back same day, so would have to get accom,which sort of negates cheap fares.

Others have suggested inpast that I just use this place as a base, get a bongo van and drive around australia. well thats been forgotten.have adopted straycat , eventually got it desexed etc after asking it it belonged to someone. so that restricts time Iam comfortable going away. I did get self feeders that sort of work, say 60%of what you may think was reasonable, but they are functional

I did fit extra aircon and ceiling fans and external blinds re summer.also roof insulation.

Current bug bears are carport, securing the yard, some sort of shed and better house security. given up on front lawn;waste of time, money and effort. planted 4 citrus trees in backyard. I go to exercise physio and see psych in next town which are both important for me atm. I also can claim for travel, its not much, but going up like 60% in July think

There is also a library in local town, been very handy with copying docs etc after printer died(again)

So. All I really need is to get motivated, drop some kegs, get part time work locally to replenish super and stop me raiding it.

Also in process of re-visiting compo claim from 4 years ago that was rejected by some clerk. they basically were saying , make it sound worse and or happened more often and here are some keywords, but I just sasy itas rejection.there was Zero proof required , would have been 4figures , would have been very handy, now going to get help , am going all in getting entire records and giving them to someone ho knows the system to get me Something. evenif its closure lol.

Having said all that, got all new whitegoods 3 years ago, new tv, finally got paytv set up, finally got furniture so it can be quite a comfortable little cave if dont want to deal with the outside world lol. maybe in 12mths , my health will have improved, getting some sort of casual work when I want it and gone a bit further with the house.

After barely going up first couple years, real estate site claiming value near doubled here. Thing is, its all relative, even at double 2023 price, cant buy anythinng for that amount thats not a falling down wreck in the desert.

Am leaving house to niece when i go. So no point in over capitalising. However, might lookat borrowing against it sometime later on.

I paid cash much to sneeringf conveyancers disgust . oh we need the money in 4 days, told them bank issues 'oh thats not true' theythought they knew me as were from another small town lived in al long time ago' just rude pigs. they got the money when I said.Point was they did not believe I had the money. part of the reason I went to pub a few times. would have wallet bursting with 50s and talking trash to put cat amongst pigeons

Tis what it is. Happy enough here. Got more than I need as it is, despite all the I need this or thats

The End

@ TAB age 63 lol

https://youtu.be/dpJAz7JnALE?si=jxUhG2gterMKxxWL

@Glisten

Hi @mrmista

I can hear that the feelings of depression continue and you're just not sure if you can be happy there. It makes sense you're really questioning 🤔 what to do given these thoughts and feelings. Whilst it's great that this is a place you can afford to live, happiness matters too! Is there another place you can see 👀yourself feeling happier?

Do you have any in person or counselling support you can reach out to atm? Having some extra support sounds as if it could be helpful🌿.

It's great to see the wonderful support here from the community and members sharing their experiences. @TAB did you feel a similar way to mrmista at first and if so - was there anything in particular that helped you to settle in? Or were you always comfortable and okay being in your place?

TunedIn 🌷

Gday Tab .

Mate, that was really interesting , and helpful too, thx for that.

Yeah 45k to the outer edge, another 10into the main shops and beach.

Your town at least has a few things though eh , that'd really make a huge difference here. There's only a po and pub, that's it.

25k to the nearest tiny supe that changes triple, 35 over to another that's a bit better or call it 50 upto the main, that has everything, really nice place too and people.

Funny, l've had that assumption l can pay for something too, last was the solicitor but they can shuv it l'm paying there's off anyway even though l could pay in one, they can wait. Another was the realestate agent, had this place with him for a bit. Turned out there was a hidden fee sell or not. Rip off but wasn't up to fighting them so in disgust l just paid it.

l haven't been to the pub here yet, really don't like country pubs much especially alone.lt's just round the corner though might pluck up the vibe and go one night, who knows, probably regret it.

But l really hear so much your sitch, it's mine really. But health wise it's MH. Last 15yrs has been a slog and a half, it's all taken toll, l'm not in a great place mentally. So my main thing

about if l didn't just stay here is wth else can l do l just couldn't cope with restarting somewhere else, not on another property anyway, even if l could sell this one. That's the biggst thing for me.

l could do this place if l stayed, and l could make it so nice to. l've designed what l'd build, extend really, onto the cabin. lt's be so cool. And hearing you now talk about the goodies you've bought for your place lately, l could see me doing that too for here. lt could be a lovely property and at least it's mine too and it'd be done , dusted, No more moving or having to restart.

The only problem is, l might be miserable !!!!!

That's the hard part, l just cam't feel . l mean maybe l settle in and get quite comfortable , feel nice, maybe even meet a local or two likeminded.

ldk. That's me trying to look on the bright outcome.

Anyway , talk away if you like TAB, really helpful and very relating to - and to anyone else that might drop in too , pls go for it if you feel like it.

mr

Sorry , that assumption l can't - pay.

But l don't even know where they get that from they should know by now that you just never do know who's got what and the most unlikely looking people can turn around and surprise the hell out of ya.

One l met for example, drove a 30yr old beat up ute everywhere, was usually in work clothes and boots, turned out he own 6houses, loved renovating.

@TunedIn @mrmista @Glisten

I had big plans when I came here.

I have come to accept things more over the last couple years.

I never was social tbh, so how/why was I going to become a 'joiner' by moving here?

Having my own place and not having to rent is a huge positive.

I have to learn how to look at things Ihave done, not at what I tell myself I havent.

I forget that I used to go on mini-holidays and justified the cost with the knowledge that it does not cost me that much to live here. A lot of my expenses are of choice.

Buying this place was a compromise. It had to be. I cant then expect that I can have everything I could have at somewhere that I could not have afforded. like food delivery, being anonymous, going to beach or to the park like in the city.

Its about acceptance.

you might be miserable living in town and wondering how to pay for housing etc @mrmista ?

if it is that bad, sell up, can you afford to ?

old cliche, but having money or better house location, whatever can just buy you a better class of misery .

You could:

1. .. get a big fridge , stockup pantry plan going to shops once a fortnight, work on house, enjoy peace and quiet ..or
2. move to city .and do whatever it is that you used to do there (including buying place backo' bourke)