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Something’s not right

waiting for help is killing me

waiting for help is killing me

im sorry about the rant.

its been 3 weeks of nonstop fear and dread and intrusive thought spirals. i havent gone an hour without thinking about the things that scare me most. i started medication on thursday but all its done is make me feel worse normally but lessen the spikes. im terrified and i cant leave the house and i have to wait. ive been waiting weeks. i dont know how much longer i can do this, im wrecked and exhausted.

21 replies

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In response to: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

Hi @Invi

That sounds really hard right now, and past few weeks.

Is there anything thst usually helps you?

E.g. Talking it out? Physical activity? Laughter? A distraction? A comforting item to hold?

I hope the medication helps overall, even if it isnt an instant relief. Some medications are short-acting (fast relie,f, brief) and others can take a few weeks to feel the full effects. Hang in there, and worth chatting to the doctor about it if you think things are getting worse or not helping after the time its meant to kick in by.

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

@AlwaysMyself ive been trying to distract myself with things that are familiar and comforting but the intrusive thoughts keep latching onto them so i have to shuffle through distractions quickly. its weaponising my safe things against me and all i can do to stop it is sleep.

im suspecting i have ocd and its being particularly mean right now (it explains some previous struggles ive had) but i gotta wait even more for a psychiatrist!! everyone i talk to says it wont be forever but its hard to believe that sometimes.

In response to: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

I don't know if this is helpful to you right now or not @Invi but I thought I'd share it anyway.

I imagine intrusive thoughts are perhaps a tad more.... aggressive in their nature than rumination in itself, but the circular and persistent nature is common to both.

Would it help to revisit some of the ideas shared in that earlier thread you started when you first joined? The community is here for you 💜

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

Hi @Invi

Guidelines prevent specifics of meds, but with OCD they tend to take longer. Antidepressants can take 12 weeks for OCD

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

@Jynx the earlier thread and this community have been a lifesaver these past few weeks. thank you. todays been a bad day so it feels more out of control

learning about rumination SUCKED lemme tell you. its a coping mechanism ive used all my life but now its torturing me. i think im doomed to be in therapy for a while to unlearn that.

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

@DogMan79 i know 😞 and i know its good im starting the process. its just so hard to wait through this kind of pain. thank you though. i needed the reminder

In response to: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

@Invi

Thank you for speaking up.

Perhaps if you could give a voice your thoughts.

Maybe verbalise them into your phone and listen to them back. This might give you the separation required for a perspective shift.

I often have thoughts in my head that I'm convinced are absolutely correct. Only to voice them and instantly realise I was not thinking clearly. It just hits different aloud. Or, even written down.

If you need feedback, perhaps you could choose one to share. But don't do that if you are not 100% comfortable with it.

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

It can be a deeply difficult and uncomfortable process to try to give up something that once helped us cope or been a way for us to keep safe in the past @Invi. It's not a linear, easy path through that process, but you are doing amazingly already by giving meds a try, connecting with people here, and looking for other ways to cope. You're not alone in your journey - we got your back 😊💜

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

@i8myego im not too keen on being specific in this forum since the thoughts are SUPER existential in nature and i dont wanna push the guidelines too hard. but its all the unanswerable questions of the universe that have been plagueing me for weeks, so i cant logic my way out of it.

i wrote some of them down and it seems silly when im not spiralling but more often than not i am in the middle of it so it feels like the end of the world. it sucks!!!

sorry for the vent. its been rough

In response to: Re: waiting for help is killing me

Re: waiting for help is killing me

@Jynx thank you. genuinely.

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