creative_writerSenior Contributor
Constant flashbacks
Does anyone else struggle with daily flashbacks? I keep getting somatic flashbacks day after day and it’s so exhausting
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Constant flashbacks
227 replies
In response to: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@Jynx I’ve been lying low, but haven’t been on a complete break. I just feel like there is so much to catch up on that taking a complete break feels so impossible.
The muffins were as tasty as I make them. It’s not really a special recipe.
It’s been pretty chaotic recently. I’ve lost my paternal grandma yesterday, I wasn’t as close to her as my maternal. It did bring up the loss of my maternal grandma from September
The muffins were as tasty as I make them. It’s not really a special recipe.
It’s been pretty chaotic recently. I’ve lost my paternal grandma yesterday, I wasn’t as close to her as my maternal. It did bring up the loss of my maternal grandma from September
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
JynxModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
@creative_writer aye it can be hard to completely 'switch off' when we know we have so much to do.
I gotta get onto the savoury muffin train!! It's hard to find savoury snacks that aren't unhealthy.
Oh hun, I'm sorry to hear that. It makes sense that this loss has also reminded you of your other grandmother, and how much you miss her. I hope you are taking things slowly and gently 💜
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@Jynx I have class in the morning and I have uni stuff planned later in the day. I’ll try to find some time during the break to wind down.
Grief is just like that. I’ve spoken to help seekers in the past about grief, it’s a pretty common experience for a recent grief to bring up past grief. I’m still in shock and was not expecting it
Grief is just like that. I’ve spoken to help seekers in the past about grief, it’s a pretty common experience for a recent grief to bring up past grief. I’m still in shock and was not expecting it
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
JynxModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
@creative_writer yeah it makes sense, but doesn't necessarily make it any easier hey. Have you thought about chatting to Griefline at all? Even if you don't think you need it, it may still help 💜
How's your family been coping, are you all kinda able to support one another?
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@Jynx I might reach out when I feel ready. I don’t think I’m ready right now.
My dad is going overseas for a bit. I think we are all still in shock and are processing at our own pace. It’s a bit tricky with international deaths
My dad is going overseas for a bit. I think we are all still in shock and are processing at our own pace. It’s a bit tricky with international deaths
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
JynxModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
So valid @creative_writer one day at a time I think is the way to go. When you're ready, I reckon you'll feel it 💜
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@Jynx I’m just taking it bit by bit. I have a lot going on right now.
I’m just relieved I am stable-ish right now. I’m not great, but currently there is no risk. I know I need to be cautious. My pdoc wants to observe me and see me sooner rather than later. Maybe it’s the recent SI and SH. I told him during my last appointment I felt like I deserved the SH earlier this year, I told him trauma was contributing. I do realise the thought is just a thought, but I probably still believe it even though it’s not true. His facial expression completely changed when I said that and I know he didn’t agree
I’m just relieved I am stable-ish right now. I’m not great, but currently there is no risk. I know I need to be cautious. My pdoc wants to observe me and see me sooner rather than later. Maybe it’s the recent SI and SH. I told him during my last appointment I felt like I deserved the SH earlier this year, I told him trauma was contributing. I do realise the thought is just a thought, but I probably still believe it even though it’s not true. His facial expression completely changed when I said that and I know he didn’t agree
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
JynxModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
How did you feel when you noticed the change of expression @creative_writer?
Glad you are feeling more stable - good time for goal-setting and decision-making, when our prefrontal lobes are a bit more online 😉
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@Jynx he looked worried, maybe he didn’t realise how strong the connection was. Maybe it needed to come out. It felt validating, even though he didn’t agree with what I said. I know I’m hard to myself, but it’s hard.
Also good time to reflect and separate my beliefs from my parents. Maybe I have mentioned to you that I have enmeshment trauma. I’ve been trying to separate my beliefs from my parents. My parents are both super anxious, especially mum. They’re not a fan or therapy and can seem mistrusting of people. They are more family oriented and feel safer keeping personal stuff within the family. They believe only family sticks around. I obviously have different beliefs to them, I feel like it is possible to find trustworthy people outside of my family.
I think my parents both have social anxiety to some degree. It may be a contributing factor for internalised shame. I feel like if people knew what happened to me, some would shun me
Also good time to reflect and separate my beliefs from my parents. Maybe I have mentioned to you that I have enmeshment trauma. I’ve been trying to separate my beliefs from my parents. My parents are both super anxious, especially mum. They’re not a fan or therapy and can seem mistrusting of people. They are more family oriented and feel safer keeping personal stuff within the family. They believe only family sticks around. I obviously have different beliefs to them, I feel like it is possible to find trustworthy people outside of my family.
I think my parents both have social anxiety to some degree. It may be a contributing factor for internalised shame. I feel like if people knew what happened to me, some would shun me
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
JynxModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
@creative_writer I'm glad it was a validating moment for you hun.
Yeah you've spoken about the complexities of your familial relationships. Those moments when we realise our values don't necessarily align with those of our parents can be pretty jarring, and definitely takes time to process. And then the ongoing process of trying to behave in ways that align with our values whilst also managing how they might react to this - definitely can be challenging.
It is unfortunate that sometimes, people will shun what they don't understand, or the things that make them uncomfortable. Living and speaking our truth despite this can be an incredibly brave thing to do - but it's okay if you're not there yet hun. Internalised shame can be so, so tricky, but it's good that you're able to recognise it and take that step back to really examine what is yours to carry, and what isn't.
