Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

yes yes i did its on my garden thread somewhere... its a blue butterfly, zoe said she would paint it for me but a sketch would be great too @Faith-and-Hope

@Former-Member - I had a really interesting conversation with a counsellor today who asked me "how do you do that" and my answer is always the same "I don't know, I just do it". We spoke about how if you asked me how I did something badly, I'd probably be able to identify every single step that lead to it in detail. But ask me how I do something well and I can't answer. I'm going to try to make a point of understanding not just how I manage to stuff up a whole lot of things, but how I can also do things well because I don't know if we often 'just do' and I think we can all be pretty hard on ourselves sometimes. Food for thought anyway.

With you, I am thinking that there are things like being organised, dedicating yourself to a task, working hard, valuing your sisters, practicing self-control... those types of things helped you do what you've done. Again, maybe I am wrong but there's some more food for thought.

Lots of food tonight sorry!

i think that could be abit of it though i dont have much of a routine @Former-Member i usually just take it day by day...

i should probably release my jaw though, ive just realised ive been clenching my jaw and i dont know for how long but must be while cause my teeth and jaw hurt

I think routines can be really overrated sometimes. I know they can help in a lot of situations, but being able to adjust how you're going depending on what's happening is really important.

Jaw clenching is no fun!

yeah i think the only bit of routine i have is getting up, gtting sisters ready for school and takin them to school and picking them up. and then doing caring jobs etc through the day @Former-Member

no its not and my anxiety is still sky high and still really trying to not SH

Sounds like a pretty perfect balance of structure and flexibility @Former-Member

So what can you do to reduce this anxiety? Or get it out? Do you go with a strategy that aims to reduce it by calming you down, or one that reduces it by using that energy constructively?

I don't think there is anything wrong with you @Former-Member and feel sad that you feel there is. I think that your friends maybe lack the ability to understand how hard things are for you and how much you are putting in to trying to get things sorted for yourself.