Struggling to cope

I am carer for my Vietnam veteran husband, who is aged 69. I am 12 years younger than him. He suffers from PTSD, Depression, Adjustment Disorder, Alcoholism, plus numerous physical ailments which are probably irrelevant here, being a mental health Forum.

I suffer from PTSD myself, and there are times I really struggle to continue being a good carer to my hubby. I know I do a good job of it mostly but sometimes I really struggle

I do the best I can under often difficult circumstances. When drunk he becomes verbally and emotionally abusive as well as very loud. My PTSD makes this almost impossible to handle, and sometimes all I can do is walk away.

I know my PTSD can make me quite irritable at times, and no doubt he's the same. But it is extremely disheartening to be doing so much for him, and knowing that none of it is appreciated. It's like he is throwing all that I do back in my face. That what I do is not good enough, is unimportant and superfluous. He gets so very angry sometimes, and it really frightens me.

He is an alcoholic with no desire to change, and he puts his life at risk because of several of his physical health issues. His vital medications are totally forgotten unless I physically give them to him to take.

I'm not really sure where I am going now with this post. Perhaps I am asking for advice on how others cope with an abusive caree (is that a word?) who never seems to appreciate anything I do. I try so hard, but it's never enough. Such a thankless task really, isn't it?