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EKCasual Contributor
Hi all
I am mum of a 16yo who was diagnosed with depression approx 18 months ago. She’s really grumpy, negative and down for 90% of the time which is really hard for her but also for me to deal with. I try and keep up beat, encourage exercise but it’s not easy! Would appreciate hearing other’s experiences and learnings! Hopefully I can share some too. Thanks, all x
In response to: Mum of depressed teen - struggling!
AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor
Hi @EK , sorry just saw your reply saying the links would be helpful 😊.
I'll also note that autism *plus* adhd (or other ND wirings i expect) can alter how things look/feel too, such as a "push-pull" between two competing things. https://embrace-autism.com/an-introduction-to-audhd/#Does_being_AuDHD_make_me_less_autistic_or_less_ADHD . For example, for myself and I've also read others, I have a need for predictable and consistent things (autistic wiring), but I also seek novelty (adhd wiring). For me the key difference is autonomy. If change is thrust upon me, its really hard. But if i feel an urge for novelty, thats not hard. I suspect if i am feeling overwhelmed the desire for novelty decreases because i feel the need for stability more. 🤔 this is just my theory, and i'm not certain of that patrern in myself yet.
But this is to say, a contradiction between traits can exist and can modify how things look.
Also, people often dont have "all the traits" - peole are unique in their mixes! 😊
I'll also note that people (like myself) may not even realise they have "learned" social cues from studying others, until reflecting on "how do you know?" I was told i couldnt be autistic because i had theory of mind. That is a myth. I have theory of mind because I took a keen interest in understanding how and what others think *because it was so different to mine*.
Looking back, there have been many physiological indicators of my autism and adhd. But it was never looked at wholistically.
https://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/products/q-a-autistic-girls-and-women
(This free course is designed for professionals, carers/parents, and individuals for education. This duo are some of the leaders in female Autism awareness. They also have other free course recordings worth checking out).
https://www.autismawareness.com.au/navigating-autism/autism-in-women-and-girls
A note on "special/intense interests" - its not uncommon for females to have more "socially accpetable" intense interests which can go unnoticed. E.g for myself - dogs, travel, psychology. These were all "normal" interests in my household, so they weren't seen as intense. I hid my less-socially-acceptable interests to myself in private. Female autistics are more often (than male autistics) to be socially motivated accoridng to research, and hence masking.
Also research shows that autistics with a higher cognitive ability are also more likely to mask more/effectively and avoid detection/diagnosis (perhaps until burnout, for example).
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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