Uncomfortable interactions with ex-therapist

@SaltwaterSoul You have put the biggest smile on my face. You have topped my Great News list.

How are you feeling today?

@Glisten Thank you for asking, I’m hanging in there. It’s just been a bit of a rough period. How are you going?

Thinking of you @SaltwaterSoul . I want to ask about your interview, but it's totally okay if you don't want to say anything. It's in the other thread. I haven't gone back to that thread - yet.

@tyme

I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve your kindness, but I really appreciate you checking in on me.

I think I can be very hard on myself. Some days my mind feels like a bit of a catastrophe, mainly from overthinking and worrying about things. On other days, I feel a small sense of hope, like with my interview, for example. I know I do good things too, but it's hard to see it sometimes. I feel like I’m going through a bit of a rocky period right now, even though I feel better than I did a few weeks ago. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s okay and normal to feel this way. It’s just a lot of emotions to process, and although I’m trying to stay positive, I also feel quite exhausted. I think over the next few days I’m just going to take things really easy. I’m trying to be kinder to myself and practise self-compassion, as my psychologist always encourages me to do.

How have you been?

Everyone deserves kindness @SaltwaterSoul - including you!

I've been thinking about you a lot and wanted to check in. I'm sorry it's been a bit challenging lately. As you said, this is 'normal'. We all go through these periods. I sure know I have! I actually stayed in the low low phase for many years. Now that I'm out of the hole, I have started living. Some days are still hard, but that's okay. We can't always have the ups.

I have strong faith and hope that you can also rise above and find your way out.

We're here for you.

@tyme

I feel like I am rediscovering genuine kindness these days, thank you for sharing, it’s really inspiring. It gives me something to look forward to. I’m looking forward to feeling more calm again, but when the anniversary hit earlier this month, and the interactions with my ex-therapist became too much it felt like everything I’d learned in therapy just went out the window, for a while and some days feel impossible. But I know some days are a little better, it’s not all bad, even though it can feel that way sometimes. My psychologist told me last time that when I feel more at peace within myself, clarity about my goals and future will come, it just takes time, and I’m already on my way. But somehow I still find myself trying harder and ending up more exhausted, and it doesn’t really make sense. I guess it’s all part of the journey, but I really hope that calm will find me soon.🙂

Sitting with you @SaltwaterSoul .

For me, things started to improve and once I was on the upward trajectory, I never really slumped again.

So yes, there is hope. We just have to ride out those waves along the way. Sometimes, when the waves seem insurmountable, we look to others for support. That's why we are a community here.

I'm not sure if I've shared, but I was just a regular member here on the forums in the past. I had my own major MH challenges. The forums gave me a way to start opening up and sharing. It became a way for me to stop hiding. I found connection and a sense of belonging on these forums, that I didn't have in the real world.

From there, it gave me some confidence to stop hiding under the covers of depression, and start interacting with the world...

So alas, I'm here. It's still a journey, but I'm in such a good good place now. I will always be thankful for my MH challenges because it's made me who I am, and I've been able to connect to the best people in the world.

I also have this hope for you.

@tyme

Oh dear, I had written a quite a long respond to this only to click on the wrong button and it all got deleted. Thank you so much for saying that, and for sharing a bit of your own story. It means a lot.
I think we are quite brave, opening up to ourselves, and at first to strangers, in an attempt to find hope in the midst of difficult life situations. I think you should be very proud of yourself, it seems like you have done a journey.

I never expected that an online forum or community would have such a positive impact on me. Through it, I’ve realised that I am not alone anymore. It’s very easy to feel isolated, especially in a society where mental health is often downplayed and not spoken about enough. What I value most about this community is that I can be myself. In my personal life, there are very few people I feel truly comfortable with, and even then, I sometimes struggle to express myself. Here, I feel a true sense of belonging that I don’t experience very often. I find myself keep coming back to share both the good and the difficult parts of my journey, while also connecting with and learning from others.

I do wish I had discovered this community earlier, but I’m grateful that I’m here now and able to experience the support it offers. 😊

We are not alone.

I've had my own fair share of mental health challenges that I never thought I'd overcome. It's been a huge battle for me, but I've realised how much I've learnt from it all.

The forums taught me that "It's okay". It taught me to open up and share. Because of my upbringing and environment growing up, I never had the chance to talk about what I was going through. Mental Health was a taboo subject. You were seen as 'wrong' or 'weak' if you have MH challenges.

Hence, the forums were a refreshing. I am so glad to be able to interact with people like you @SaltwaterSoul

Thank you for listening.

@tyme

My support button stopped working yesterday and still doesn’t seem to be working. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but it's a bit frustrating. ☹️

I’m really grateful that mental health is talked about more openly today. It must have been very tough in the past when it was such a taboo subject. I sometimes find myself wondering if things could have been different if my parents had access to more support. My mum doesn’t want help, even when we were in contact I tried but she refused and that's it I can't force her, but my dad, who has passed away, struggled with depression. He did try antidepressants for a while, and he improved but I think he felt a lot of shame around it. Sadly, he turned to other substances instead and passed away too early because of it. It’s still not as openly discussed as it should be, but it’s definitely better than it used to be. I’m really glad you’re where you are today.🌸